TOMBSTONE, Arizona – (Satire News) – The iNews Agency reports that a door-to-door flour tortilla salesman in Tombstone, has been arrested for first-degree turtle abuse. Local authorities arrested Derek Simon Sipplovax, 29, for endangering a harmle…
Sky Sports have announced plans to include racist, homophobic, sexualized and other hateful slurs to enliven viewers' experiences, starting with next weekend's Premier League football broadcasts. "Our research uncovered strong viewer demand for an…
Just when we thought things couldn't possibly get any worse after the recent Black Lives Matter demonstrations and riots, a new protest has begun, against the domestic violence suffered against their persons by the black wives of black men. The o…
A football team has turned the tables on abusive fans, as they booed a section of their home support at the final whistle. Siddrington Town, who play in the 15673rd tier of English football, turned on their support at the end of a dismal 0-0 draw...
They say that some things never change, and that certainly seems to be the case with 'abuse', which, a study has found, that, for the seventh year running, Sexual Abuse still tops the list of popular abuses. Reported crime involving sexual abuse a...
Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios and events such as the public might have read about i...
As she bit the head off of a chinchilla and drank its blood, Ivanka Trump called out the media for what she sees as harsh treatment of her father. "Some of the stories about my family I won't even dignify with a comment--I just can't believe the v...
Toronto - A local animal trainer for the Toronto Zoo suffered severe injuries when his tiger, Meeka, turned on him during a training session and gnawed his arms off. According to fellow workmates, the trainer, Peter Dawson, 38, routinely whipped Meek...
The girlfriend of Lee Moore found an indecent photo of a cleaning sponge on his laptop while she was using it. The woman was horrified to find more images of sponge abuse on her boyfriend's computer. Illegal images of sponges in various questio...
Another brutal day at work. Another round of layoffs hit your firm so you grudgingly accept Fate's cruel hand and settle into the humdrum monotony of missed deadlines, angry emails, and screaming bosses. You finally arrive at your sanctuary: home, a bastion of refuge against the assaulting waves of crap called life. As you kick off your shoes, the glow of a portable screen plastered to the face of...
HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon Pictures in association with Pipe Dream Films has just announced that production will soon start on the new motion picture Cuts, Bruises, Scrapes, and Abrasions - The Rihanna Story. Bellanino Terrabini will be directing the mo...
DETROIT - Bedroom Pillow Talk is reporting that it appears that Rihanna has finally come to her senses. The Caribbean singer confided to Carolina Chipotle with BPT that she has realized that her infatuation with ex-boyfriend Chris Brown is over.
DES MOINES - The governor of Iowa has issued a Governor's Directive which prohibits Rihanna from ever setting foot in the Corn on The Cob State. Governor Terry Branstad stated that just in the past three weeks he has received dozens of petitions f...
Yet another disaster hit poor Bangladesh causing over 400 deaths and many more injuries; a clothing factory collapsed! Not only do global clothing conglomerates ignore the basic requirements of their "slave" workers, they also continue to ignore basi...
TUCSON - Rihanna was in town as the featured guest speaker at The Annual Battered Women Who Forgive Their Husbands and/or Boyfriends Convention. The Caribbean beauty told the group that she has caught a lot of flack from millions of American women...
NEW YORK CITY - Sporting Chance Magazine is reporting that disgraced former Rutgers University basketball coach Mike Rice has received so much hate mail, text messages, phone calls, tweets, and emails that he is in a state of depression. Sherwood...
Parts of New Delhi, India had to be closed off today after violent confrontations with authorities erupted after an Indian man was chased away from a public toilet he was sitting on. India's armed forces canceled New Year's Eve parties on Monday,...
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