Melania Trump (remember her?) put out a semi coherent press release today, saying that Joe Biden has stolen her famous catch phrase.
Just when the world had assumed that she had been killed, after her usefulness as a first lady robot had worn off, Melania has reemerged to try and claim a little bit of the spotlight back.
In the lawsuit, The former First Lady claims that Biden's catch phrase, 'Build Back Better' was somehow stolen from her own catch phrase, 'Be Best.'
She goes on to explain that her catch phrase was originally, 'Be Best Better' and that Joe and Jill talked her out of using the phrase when they first heard it at the Trump inauguration.
"I was saying it to everyone at the inauguration," explained Melania. "Instead of hello or goodbye, I would say, 'be best better.' I thought it was nice and positive. And my husband told me I needed to brand myself. I told him that he already had branded me. But he told me he wasn't talking about the giant T he had burnt into my right ass cheek.
'At the inauguration, that bastard Biden told me to stop saying 'Be Best Better.' That I sounded like an idiot, and that it didn't make any sense. Now, I see everywhere that Joe is going around saying, 'Build Back Better!' which is practically the very same thing,' told Melania through her laywers. 'Look, it's all B words. How could the world not notice that he is obviously ripping me off?!'
Also, when I wore that rain poncho to the southern border that said, "I Don't Care. Do you?' on the back. Now I hear that he is planning on wearing a very similar poncho to the Glasgow climate talks that says, 'I really care. Do you?' on the back.
According to sources, maids and butlers at Trump's Mar-A-Largo home had equally assumed that Melania had been killed off after they hadn't seen her around in a few months. But no one bothered to check in the one place the Trump's don't spend much time, the library. A maid finally found her in there, with a stack of legal books piled up to the ceiling.
Melania admitted that she wasn't reading the legal books for her lawsuit against Joe Biden, but that she used the very thick, smelly books to crawl up into the duct work, to avoid giving Donald his lunch time BJ. "That's another thing that starts with a 'B' that I don't like very much,' she said, picking something out of her teeth.
The lawsuit also stated that other things Melania doesn't like that start with a B include: Broccoli, Books, Babies, Butt stuff and Botched Botox.