CIA Ops Create "Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone"

Written by Zabdgrov667

Saturday, 13 June 2020

image for CIA Ops Create "Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone"
"Seattle Protester" just happens to be a Harvard grad with weapon deals in Syria.

SEATTLE, WA - After several public and humiliating failures, the CIA has successfully established a base for regime change in the Northwest region of the United States. Using ANTIFA and BLM as front groups to initiate covert disruption of public order by fomenting insurrection, the CIA hopes to restore its reputation for installing dictators in formerly democratic nations, while advancing the totalitarian urges of Globalist Billionaires who benefit from the Military Industrial Complex and never-ending war.

Reporters who have seen third-world revolutions are somewhat hesitant to give the CIA credit for a successful coup. The politicians around Washington State may be Democrats, but they tend to be brain-dead tree-hugging limousine Liberals who "radiate" Anarchy through their lack of common sense. The Democrats found in the US Congress are usually hard-core neo-Marxists that see George Orwell as a source for "really good ideas." Ardent political observers believe that George Soros deserves the most credit for the "Autonomous Zone" in Seattle.

Steve M. (Journalist, Conflict Analyst): "There is a certain similarity between Seattle and Libya. A couple of sources report that all AK-47 assault rifles used by Northwest ANTIFA are CIA leftovers from a Benghazi shipment in 2012. The CIA added some Rocket Propelled Grenades (RPG) as a bonus for the Seattle insurrection. You can be sure the US Congress will propose spending for nation-building and military actions in the new Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone, with CIA assistance and money laundering."

Are Politicians Paid to Burn Cities?

People have destroyed property as a means to get insurance money. If some people are charged with fraud, maybe it's appropriate to ask politicians about the money they get when "their" city burns. In the "War on Poverty", 70% of government expenditures went to advisors, bureaucrats, council members, and other friends of politicians. Bribery existed many centuries before the CIA was born, and now might be a good time to ask "cui bono" (who benefits)?

More than a few people suspect elected officials as being complicit in orchestrated Anarchy.... If you cannot buy toilet paper, do you think that the millionaire Senator has nothing in his bathrooms? ... If you lost a job, can you name a government bureaucrat who lost vacation days and didn't collect his salary for the month? ... When you are on "lock-down" without enough money to pay the rent, do you really believe the tears on the faces in the US Congress, and the fawning "compassion" of the TV Media? ... When your government spends $2,289,650,000,000 ... and they give you a check for $1200 - WHERE DOES THE OTHER $2 TRILLION GO?

Yes, the incompetent CIA probably supported the "CHAZ" revolution in Seattle, but it's a safe bet that several hard-left globalist billionaires and their spineless Washington DC minions had a hand in the chaos and destruction.

Related:

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more