BILLINGSGATE POST: Joe Biden muffed when attempting to identify his wife’s hair. In a staged test set up by the Democrat National Committee, Biden was asked to correctly identify the hair of a number of randomly selected Individuals that included his wife, Nancy Pelosi, Kim Kardashian, the Sultan of Brunei, Quasimodo, Vladimir Putin and the recently severed head of Jamal Khashoggi. Unfortunately, the cryogenically frozen head of the Splendid Splinter, Ted Williams, was not available.
With all parties introduced to Biden prior to him being blindfolded, he was asked to test his wandering nose. He went down the line, carefully massaging each party’s respective shoulders (except for Khashoggi) while burying his patrician nose in each victim’s hair.
Correctly identifying Putin, because he had no hair and was not wearing a shirt, he spent no time massaging Khashoggi’s shoulders before identifying him. Then it got tougher.
He mistook Nancy Pelosi for Quasimodo, and, forced to chose between his wife and Kim Kardashian, he blew it like a cheap hair blower. After massaging Kardashian’s shoulders for what seemed an eternity, his nose inexplicably went cold.
“Baby, is that you? My nose tells me one thing. My heart tells me something else.”
NOTE: Unfortunately, the Sultan of Brunei was lost in the shuffle. Apologies to him and his hair.