Pelosi Calls For Standardized Jewish Slurs

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 11 March 2019

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Representative Ilhan Omar (D-Minn.) thanked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for recommending that Jewish slurs be standardized so that there is no misunderstanding when she condemns Israel for throwing Benjamins around to influence American lawmakers in Washington.

Pelosi stated that it is readily apparent that slurs used to describe the way Israeli lobbyists influence Washington politics varied so much that it was confusing Omar and made it very difficult for her to understand who the real enemy is.

In an unusual display of unity among Muslims, Arab League Secretary General Amr Moussa, proposed that Israel be referred to as "Al Halsuada" or "the evil dogs." Hezbollah fighters, however, preferred the Lebanese translation which referred to the Jews as "big-nosed curs." Hizbullah, hoping to out-trump their spelling variable brethren, called for the Jews to be called, "sons of bitches."

Members of the Syrian Jihadic Congress, however, combined many slurs by using the standardized Arabic "kosher licking, scum-sucking, son of a dog's dirty deed," to describe their Mideast neighbors.

Across the border from Israel, representatives of the Palestinian Hamas were unable to participate in the dialogue because they were unable to leave the country and couldn't phone their selection in because they hadn't paid their phone bill.

"Clearly there is a necessity to clarify and standardize language denigrating Jews," Pelosi explained. While everyone has their own particular favorite, I think that the results of this standardization will be helpful in making Islamic hatred more understandable for Ms. Omar when she slurs Jews.”

In a statement issued by Speaker Pelosi, it was directed that a standardized version of Jewish, Israeli and Zionist slurs be documented by a special congressional committee led by Representative Omar.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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