Gay Personality
A man suffering with multiple personality disorder told his Doctor he thought one of his personalities may be gay. He said the cause of his discomfort was becoming a kind of "a pain in the arse."
written by IN SEINE, 04 January 2009
Iranian History Repeats Itself
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad thinks he is King Xerxes reincarnated and wants to refight the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae. Today's Greeks are not your Greeks of antiquity, so 300 Israeli's have volunteered.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 04 January 2009
Arrest Warrants Replace Landing Cards
Passengers flying into Europe with Iraqi Airlines will be issued with arrest warrants instead of landing cards. A UK government Minister has said "This measure will avoid unnecessary mess on the tube."
written by CherryFairy, 04 January 2009
"Blow me!"
A husband got more than he bargained for when he showed his wife the new iSteam iPhone app and told her to 'blow me'. Her response? An iFart!
written by CherryFairy, 04 January 2009
Walking Proud
A 92-year-old man has been arrested by Boston Police after walking around the emergency room at Boston General, proudly displaying his four-hour erection.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2009
Supreme Court Delivers Imprortant Decision
The Supreme Court voted 5-4 yesterday that White Castle Restaurants must also build Red, Yellow and Black Castle Restaurants or else, repaint equal numbers of each.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2009
Midnight Strangler Arrested
Neighbors of the Midnight Strangler police arrested yesterday say that he always did act peculiar, such as practicing garroting dummies out in the front yard during the day.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2009
Cat Methuselah
An amazing house cat in Brooklyn has been discovered that has ten lives and has been auctioned off on eBay to an online casino.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2009
Harvard Professor's Discovery
A scientist at Harvard University has announced a breakthrough this morning in that he has discovered a new Yale scientist under his lab table taking notes.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2009
Ronald's Potted Meat Recall
The Food and Drug Administration has issued a recall of Ronald's Potted Meat after three of their plant inspectors pass out.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2009
Teachers: Kids Suffering
A new survey among the nation's teachers reveals that more and more American kids are now suffering from Reader's Block.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2009
Family-Way Restaurant Opens
The first Family Way Restaurant has opened up in San Francisco, specializing in 30 different flavors of ice cream and twelve varieties of pickles.
written by Bureau, 04 January 2009
New Film to be Released
A new film is to be released in February. It is about a man from Mumbai who gets a bout of sickness and diarrhea. It is to be called 'The World's Fastest Indian'.
written by IN SEINE, 04 January 2009
Film for Dyslexic Flying Fans
A film has just been realeased for aeronautical fans who suffer from Dyslexia. It is called 'Top Gnu'. There are no Wildebesst in sight!
written by IN SEINE, 04 January 2009
We'll Cross that Bridge when we come to it
A one-time arsonist from Liverpool, has decided to go straight as an engineer. To make a fresh start, has made a New Year's resolution and decided not to burn his bridges.
written by IN SEINE, 04 January 2009
Hanging Chads?
Ghana's new President, Jonjon Atilla Mills, declared his party had won the election with an outright majority. Apparently the victor isn't the politician with the most votes but the most guns.
written by Rusty, 04 January 2009
Mini-Me drowns
Austin Powers 'Mini-Me' actor Verne Troyer, tipped by Ladbrokes to win the Celebrity Big Brother contest, was discovered to have drowned earlier today while swimming in the house's goldfish bowl.
written by Rusty, 04 January 2009
Going-and going-and going
NASA celebrates the Mars rover 'Spirit' still going - and going - and going - after five years - thanks to Ever Ready's Off-World Superlife Lithium batteries.
written by Rusty, 04 January 2009
Woolworths Xmas Gift to Jersey Staff : Sweet FA
In a typical corporate "Fu*ck the Workers" move, Woolworths Jersey have denied 120 staff their due lay-off pay, stating UK redundancy rules do not apply on the Channel Islands.
written by Rusty, 04 January 2009
Dr. What Competition
The BBC is to hold another of their acclaimed scandalous No-Win Phone-In competitions for viewers to guess who the next Time Lord occupant of Dr. What?'s Tardis will be.
written by Rusty, 04 January 2009
Words of Wisdom from Dubya
His Royal Thickness, Dubya Bush says Hamas are to blame for IDF violence directed against Gaza as they surrendered their country to Israel in 1948. Que?
written by Rusty, 04 January 2009
VAT reduction cost more than saved
Lib Dem leader Nick Clogg says the government's teaseer VAT reduction was a waste of money as it cost £2:5 billion to implement and simply kick-started a festive season credit card spending splurge.
written by Rusty, 04 January 2009
Crippled?
The UK government is criticised for failing to ratify a UN Convention giving new rights for disabled people. In its defence, the government said; "We cannot help them, our economy is crippled!"
written by IN SEINE, 04 January 2009
Actor Matt Smith Arrested
Young actor, Matt Smith has been arrested and charged with impersonating a doctor. When asked his name by the Judge, his reply was; "Who?"
written by IN SEINE, 04 January 2009
Hamas Supporters Worldwide Blow Themselves Up In Solidarity
Thousands of protestors worldwide have been gathering and blowing themselves and each other up in solidarity with Hamas, who are in a war with Israel. "It's a bloody mess" one witness said.
written by P Z, 04 January 2009
