Bozo's Last Days
In a Chicago newspaper yesterday, friends of the late Bozo The Clown say that near the end, he was extremely restless and honking out of his head.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2009
Wheels Of Justice Grind Slow
After reconstruction by experts, body recently found in a bog turn out to be that of a man on cave wall drawing wanted for a crime in 100,000 BC.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2009
Newt Won't Run
The country's witches and warlocks say they're disappointed that the Newt Gingrich has announced that he will not run for president in 2012.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2009
Employee Shows His Ass
A U.S. Government employee has been fired after coining nearly 100,000 dimes with his ass on the back side.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2009
Pope Misplaces Power Of Infallibility
Those close to Pope Benedict XVI say he recently misplaced and then recovered his infallibility in one six-hour period.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2009
Manic Depressed Impresssionist
Manic-Depressive Guy at word does a great Richard Simmons & Robin Williams and/or Bob Newhart & Lurch impressions, but never on the same day.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2009
Population Of U.S. Could Double
The population of the United states could double in size by the year 2050 according to a new survey, although their number will not increase significantly.
written by Bureau, 11 January 2009
Credit Crunch Victims
In loving memory of F.W. Woolworth, MFI, Zaavi, The Officer's Club.
Who's Next?
written by IN SEINE, 11 January 2009
Prince Harry Apologizes
Prince Harry has apologized for his recent remarks caught on tape about Pakis. "They can't help it if they're ragheads. I'm a redhead. We're all something or another."
written by Bureau, 11 January 2009
Barbra Streisand's 'Vegetable Soup'
Barbra Streisand will begin filming a remake of her 1983 movie "Yentl." In the new version the main Jewish character Yentl Mendel becomes a vegetarian and changes her name to 'Lentil.'
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2009
Quick, Put That Baked Alaska Down!
All Baked Alaska products in Oregon are being recalled. Grocers reported that some grocery shoppers had found traces of polar bear hair.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2009
Blockbuster Movie To Be Released!
Stephen Spielberg is to release a blockbuster movie about sweet potatoes ready for next Thanksgiving Day. It will be called "The Silence of the Yams."
written by IN SEINE, 11 January 2009
History Studies Reveal Problem
A report says high school students aren't very good with American history. It's appalling! On a recent test, a majority of seniors thought Lincoln's Gettysburg address was ALincoln@gettysburg.web
written by IN SEINE, 11 January 2009
Chipping Sodbury Explosion
When Chipping Sodbury Pensioner, Bill Whitefoot, 91, opened his gas bill this morning and saw the amount of money he owed to them, he just exploded. It took council workmen hours to clean up the mess.
written by IN SEINE, 11 January 2009
Royal Cuckoo : Faux Pas # 2728
Ginger Minga Prince Harry, out in his best Sturmbanfuhrer dress uniform, screws up yet again with another of his less than diplomatic comments when he calls a Spade a Spade, even if it was a Shovel.
written by Rusty, 11 January 2009
Yet another Church in Wales!
There are lots of churches and chapels in Wales, spawned by the Welsh Revival of 1903. Now, another one has been born. Charlotte Church has given birth to son today; at home in the Vale of Glamorgan.
written by IN SEINE, 11 January 2009
Britsh Army have secret weapon deadlier than Prince Harry!
The British Army have enlisted Jonathon Ross who is said to be 10 times more offensive than Prince Harry.
written by IN SEINE, 11 January 2009
Divorce man 'wants kidney back'
A US man divorcing his wife demands that she return the kidney he donated to her or pay him $1.5m (£1m) in compensation. Her Lawyers claim that she is only entitled to half of it.
written by IN SEINE, 11 January 2009
BBC to produce a new documentary about Prince Harry
The Progamme will be called 'Little Paki' and should not be confused with the hit comedy 'Little Britain'.
written by IN SEINE, 11 January 2009
The Happiest Food In The USA
A huge 20 pound Maine lobster in a Kennebunkport restaurant has been given a repreive and returned to the Atlantic Ocean. Meanwhile over at Taco Bell, 12 enchiladas are on their way back to Mexico.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2009
The Blonde Female Teacher & The 13-Year-Old Boy
A 29-year-old female teacher in Massachusetts has been arrested and charged with having sex with a 13-year-old student 300 times. The woman denied it telling Police it was actually only 273 times.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2009
Prince Harry Retracks His 'Raghead' Slur (Sort of)
Prince Harry of England has apologized for calling an Arab a 'Raghead.' Harry said, "I do apologize for calling him a 'Raghead,' I really meant to call him a 'Camel Jockey.'
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2009
Jelly and Jam, Jam and Jelly
Welch's is recalling millions of jars of Grape Jelly. A spokesperson said they may contain traces of Grape Jam.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2009
A Bird In The Mouth Is Worth...
A very rare Pine Flycatcher Dinky Bird is the first of it's kind to migrate from Guatemala to the U.S. Sadly, it met up with a visiting Guatemalan Condor that feasts on Pine Flycatcher Dinky Birds.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 January 2009
