14 More Russian Generals Defect
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice has just informed the people of Russia that 14 more top Russian generals have defected. The DV said that the top officers are now in Poland, where they are being treated as heroes by the Polish people.
Read full storyTed "Eddie Munster" Cruz Says That The Hundreds of Daily Death Threats Don't Scare His RINO Ass One Damn Bit!
WAXAHACHIE, Texas - (Satire News) - Ted Cruz who says he was born in Canada, but his 'real' birth certificate shows that he was born in Pudding de Platano, Guatemala, told a reporter with Hearsay Today that he is getting over 800 death threats a day,…
Read full storyLittle NRAers Practice Their Shooting Skills By Blasting Away At Woodpeckers
BEAVER BELLY, Mississippi - (Satire News) - There is no group anywhere in the United States who allows kids as young as four-years-old to be be members; not the Optimist club, or the Kiwanis club, or the Knights of Columbus or even the Ku Klux Klan.
Read full storyBig Ape Elon Is Nobody’s Twit!
Elon Musk doesn’t want to buy Twitter anymore. He won’t give the true reason, but a Tesla insider rat who likes to squeal on his boss says, “He don’t like when people make fun of him. That’s why he fired so many of his employees who told him to f…
Read full storyMonica Lewinsky of MonicaGate Fame Talks About Her New WWG Wrestling Boyfriend
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Monica Lewinsky recently appeared on "The Jimmy Kimmel Show. And at 48, the famous former White House intern, clearly shows that she can still hang with the young political groupies. Lewinsky, wearing her infamous b…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Announces That She Will Be Entering The GOP Presidential Race
BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene has just shocked the hell out of a lot of people; including former boyfriends Matt Gatez, Jim Jordan, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump. The vulgar, potty-mouthed MTG, told a reporter with The Ipso…
Read full storyTrump Tells His Sons Don Jr. (aka Sniffy) and Eric (aka Goofy) That Old Dad Is In Some Very, Very Deep Shit
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Now that Trump has thrown his once favorite French kisser, Ivanka out of his will, friends say that he has gotten closer to his two spoiled brat sons, Don, Jr., (aka Sniffy) and Eric (aka Goofy). The two specimens a…
Read full storyBoris likely to remain in Number 10 for a year as hundreds of MPs throw their hat in the ring for the leadership contest
Expectations that disgraced Prime Minister Boris Johnson will be out of office within a few weeks were dashed as several hundred Tory MPs declared their intention to stand for the leadership contest. The list includes many MPs that the public has nev…
Read full storySupreme Court Chief Justice Brett "The Dictator" Kavanaugh Is Pelted With Chicken McNuggets At a Bronx Mickey D's
THE BRONX, New York - (Satire News) - Tabloid Today has just shown a video of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh getting his black robed ass pelted with dozens and dozens of Chicken McNuggets at a Mickey D's in the Bronx. The SCOTUS member had…
Read full storyThe World Federation Alliance Has Just Fined Russia (And Putin) $71.8 Million For Illegally Invading Ukraine
HAMBURG, Germany - (Satire News) - After extensive consideration the World Federation Alliance has decided to issue a $71.8 million fine against Vladimir Putin and the Russian nation. The fine is for Putin's blatant act of Acto Aggresatorio Muchis…
Read full storyGov. Greg Abbott Angrily Confronts 13 Immigrants From Guatemala And They Spit All Over "Wheelchair Willie's" Ugly Face
EAGLE PASS, Texas - (Satire News) - "Wheelchair Willie," (aka Gov. Greg Abbott) stood in front of 13 immigrants from Guatemala and told them that they need to get back to Guadalajara (Abbott flunked Spanish in high school and in college). One of h…
Read full storyOnly Hollywood Can Save the World!
The FBI and MI5 have teamed up because China is apparently a huge enough threat that they have to. Jason Bourne and James Bond can no longer save the world – it’s just too fucked. So it got me thinking. What can both Britain and, especially, t…
Read full storyWhat Do You Mean By ‘Mental’ Illness, Congresswomen?
Rep. Debbie Lesko (R-AZ) said that she would rather shoot and kill her five grandchildren than give up her right to keep and bear arms. When her grandkids were reached for comment, the oldest said: “She said what? That bitch! Well, for next Christ…
Read full storySwitzerland Is Sending 7 Soldiers And a Cook To Ukraine
BERN, Switzerland - (Satire News) - President Ignazio Daniele Giovanni Cassis of Switzerland, has just informed the Swiss people that he is responding to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy asking the countries of the world for help. President…
Read full storyYoung NRA Toddlers Scaring The Hell Out of Squirrels
CORN SHUCK, Iowa - (Satire News) - One thing about the NRA members when it comes to their membership, they are not picky. Press Extra writer Voodoo Dupree, who is the sister of stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree, spoke with an NRA spokeswoman identif…
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