Big Ape Elon Is Nobody’s Twit!

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 9 July 2022

image for Big Ape Elon Is Nobody’s Twit!
All You Twits Made Elon Cry -- Now He's Not Buying Twitter! Happy?!

Elon Musk doesn’t want to buy Twitter anymore.

He won’t give the true reason, but a Tesla insider rat who likes to squeal on his boss says, “He don’t like when people make fun of him. That’s why he fired so many of his employees who told him to fuck himself when he told them to ‘get back to work, you lazy bums!’ That’s what he say, but he say he didn’t say that, but we can’t say he say that ‘cuz then he gonna fire us too.”

Very confusing, but the gist is: Elon Musk is a golden boy who doesn’t like when people don’t like him. (Justin Trudeau had the same problem with his truckers, so he violated their charter rights and had them arrested because they protested without a permit for their bouncy castles and made him look bad on the world stage! Never embarrass a dictator!)

This is a very common problem amongst the elite of the world, whether they are billionaires, millionaires, heads of state, corporate CEOs, the Big Bosses of drug cartels, or just assholes with more ego than brains.

If you tell a dictator he’s a dictator, he will fire you. Or kill you. Or back out of a deal. And when it comes to Twitter, people all over the world keep exercising their freedom of speech, which Elon has proven he does not like!

It’s basic human nature: give the head ape the good bananas and he’ll hoard them all, give some to his yes-men, force lower apes to work for him to grow more bananas, throw some ‘excess’ bananas out if he’s full, and kill anyone who dares say he’s had too much and maybe he should share (call him a commie first, thus branding him and turning him into a pariah before he dies in shame and poverty, with not a single banana to his name).

Elon Musk is the head ape with the biggest bananas, and if people on Twitter (he calls them fake accounts and spammers) don’t like him and refuse to worship him as their god, then god doesn’t want anything to do with the people. (This has happened before – read your Bibles, people!)

Here comes another Flood. Everybody start building arks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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