California Has Just Named The Vibrator As Its Official State Sex Toy
SACRAMENTO, California – (Satire News) – The California state legislature has just voted on making the vibrator, the official state sex toy. According to a legislative spokesperson the vote was an overwhelming 84 to 14, with 3 abstaining. State…
Read full storyWhere did I Leave the Spiraliser?
Hello, Raymond Ving here again. Yes, I know I have been busy, what with telling you about my Chimp Jeffrey, and how exciting February is, but I just had to ask Where Did I Leave My Spiralliser? I know I had it earlier, as my neighbour was passi…
Read full storyMy Chimp has never painted a thing in his life
Hello there, Raymond Ving here, as you may have guessed. Welcome to yet another article about my life and my experience. I am now well into my 80's, and I have lived a life, I can tell you that for nothing, but my biggest disappointment is m…
Read full storyTeacher realises that it was also his time they were wasting
Teacher Simon Bartholomew has realised that disruptive pupils were also wasting his time. The chap, forty years into his teaching career said 'I always Tommy Smith and Malcolm James that it was their own time they were wasting, but now I realise t…
Read full storyCan February get anymore exciting, now that Shakespeare and Hathaway is back on?
Well Hello there, Mr Raymond Ving here again. You may remember me from my last column, Have You Seen My Spiraliser? or my other one My Chimp never painted a thing in his life, but here I am to tell you that February 2022 has just got a lot more ex…
Read full storyHave you seen my bolognese?
TV Chef Shane Worthington was under a lot of pressure in the studios during his show 'Making do and Making Friends' when he realised he had misplaced his bolognese. 'Yes it was a bit of a panic around these parts earlier' said Shane 'It was going…
Read full storyEngland’s Coors Light Brewing Company Has Just Named A New Beer After Queen Elizabeth
LONDON – (Satire News) – Coors Light Beer, which is headquartered in Golden, Colorado, has just announced that it will be brewing a new light beer in honor of her majesty, the queen. A spokesperson for Coors Light (UK), Rafferty Cocklings, III, sa…
Read full storyA Virginia Veterinarian’s Business Has Shot Up 600% Since He Started Giving Botox Injections To Bloodhounds
RED GUMBALL, Virginia – (Satire News) – Red Gumball is a town of 52,902 people. It is the birthplace of one of Taylor Swift’s cousins, Stepanie Swift. It is also home to one of its most popular citizens, Dr. Elroy P. Noodle, the town’s veterinaria…
Read full storyAaron Rodgers May Sign With The Cincinnati Bengals
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin – (Sports Satire) – Word filtering out of PackerLand is that quarterback Aaron Rodgers is considering an offer from the Bengals to join their team. The Bengals lost to the Los Angeles Rams in the Super Bowl and have expressed…
Read full storyOlympic Athletes Keeling Over From Olympic Sponsors Trash Food
BS News Service - Yet another contingent of Olympic Athletes have succumbed to alimentary ailments from the Officially Sponsored food at the Winter Olympics. The number of accidents from falls, collisions, getting toes run over by curling stones,…
Read full storyBezos-Musk, Inc., To Develop The World’s First Portable Bidet
AUSTIN, Texas – (Satire News) – The biggest corporation in the entire world has just announced that they will soon be marketing the world’s very first portable bidet. The PB, as Jeff Bezos has pegged it, (no pun intended) will be roughly the size…
Read full storyResearch Studies Show That Cold Weather Will Not Make a Woman’s Nipples Erect
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – A recent gynecological survey has just revealed a very interesting thing about adult women’s breasts. The study which was conducted by a team of gynecologists from Illinois, California, Texas, and Vermont proved without-a…
Read full storyTrump Has Gotten So Damn Unpopular That Even His Favorite Nephew Can’t Stand Him
HACKENSACK, New Jersey – (Satire News) – Melania Trump recently talked to Anderson Cooper and mentioned to him that her husband is going bat-shit crazy because his popularity rating has gone from 38% down to 13.7%. Melly, as her BFF LeBron James c…
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