Editor To Anticipate Stories, And Publish Them Without Writer Having Written Them

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 20 February 2021

image for Editor To Anticipate Stories, And Publish Them Without Writer Having Written Them
Anticipation is so much better

A chance, off-the-cuff remark from one of its leading contributors has led to one saitirical news website announcing that its editor will, in the future, approve, correct, and publish submissions BEFORE they have even escaped from the tiny minds of their scribblers.

The progressive new idea at TheSpoof.com, was hatched by Edwina Unhatched, from Lancashire.

Other writers - or maybe just one - have been upset at the 'long' delays in their "work" being approved for publication sometimes caused by the slapdashery of the site's editor, Moys Kenwood, 57, who sits in a tower made of elephant tusks, grinning to himself at the frustration, not to say anxiety, this generates for those waiting impatiently to see their masterpieces in bright lights.

Mrs. Unhatched, 53, said:

"I suppose it can be rather upsetting for some people - or maybe just one person - who likes to get as many slices of detritus from his schoolboy-humor brain, down into his keyboard, and then sit proudly back and watch his points tally go through the roof."

She went on:

"I'll go on. The frustration must be enormous, to think that, after all those minutes and seconds putting together some of the most humorless gubbins ever to make it onto the page in the English language, some arsehole like Kenwood - who is handsomely paid for his services - just sits there, not approving the 'unapprovable'. It really gets my goat!"

Unhatched suggested that, from now on, the editor anticipate what the site's writers intend to write, write it, correct it, and publish it, before those artists have even got out of bed.

"Just bloody well get on with it!" she said.

Spoof boss Mark Lowton thinks it's a great idea. He said:

"Eh?"


* Thanks to DW for the idea

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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