Man In TV Debate Started Everything He Said With "So"
A spoken-word poet who was involved in a TV debate on the very sensitive topic of 'slavery' started every single comment he made by using the word 'So', much to one viewer's annoyance. George Mpanga, a poet from London, was one half of the debatee…
Read full storyCOVID-19 Vaccine Has Side-Effect Of Turning Patients Into Zombies
The rapid roll-out of the Coronavirus vaccine has continued these last few days, with millions of people anxious to protect themselves before it is too late, but analysts in London are saying there appears to be a worrying side-effect to the drug.
Read full storyMitch McConnell Makes a Stunning Comment About Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – One of Senator Mitch McConnell’s former senate aides has told RumorLand News that the senator from Kentucky is nothing but a two-faced hypocrite. The former aide said that, on several occasions recently, she over…
Read full storyShakin Steven's song examined by a blogger
Blogger Richard Van Winkle has taken apart the Shakin' Stevens song 'Merry Christmas Everyone', much to the delight of the three people who regularly read his blog. The article starts by tearing into the opening verse from the perspective of 2020.
Read full storyHungarian Hackers Hack Trump's Computer
WASHINGTON , D.C. – (Satire News) – The President is furious after learning hackers from Hungary have compromised his personal computer. The group, calling itself Covfefe XYZ-83, say some of the info they have viewed would make Harvey Weinstein an…
Read full storySatan Buys Pardon from Trump for $8bn
In a ‘not very surprising’ move, it was revealed today that outgoing president and all-round shithouse, Donald Trump has agreed to issue the devil with a presidential pardon. The full and complete pardon will be rushed through ahead of Trump’s presi…
Read full story'Sour-Krauts' demand Sauerkraut is banned from German dictionary, they feel discriminated against!
(NOT EDITED) Delicious, healthy sauerkraut that rumbles up tummies, causes high-level flatulence, but has many properties which keep people healthy, has come under fire in Germany. Real 'Sour-Krauts' feel they are being discriminated against every…
Read full storyThe Dallas Cowboys Finally Win
CINCINNATI – (Sports Satire) – After being in a stupor for weeks and weeks, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones finally managed to do something he had literally forgotten how to do – he smiled. The 78-year-old Jones told Dakota Bazooka, with Sports Balls Il…
Read full storyNicki Minaj Promises Her Christmas Album Does Not Contain Any “N’ Words
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – One of the most popular rappers in America has just assured the entertainment media that her just-released Christmas album contains no "N" words whatsoever. Minaj spoke with Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo,…
Read full storyThe United Nations Says Russia Will Not Get Any C-19 Vaccines
NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The Secretary General of the United Nations, Antonio Guterres, has announced that Russia will not receive any Coronavirus vaccines when they become available. He stated that the UN’s 193 sovereign country members ha…
Read full storyRepublican Senators To Admit: Hey, Trump Lost
It is believed that, after the Electoral College certifies that Joseph Biden won the 2020 election and is the new President of the United States, further establishing that Donald Trump lost the November 3rd election, Republican senators will have a…
Read full storyCalifornia Has Decided to Ban Christmas
SACRAMENTO – (Satire News) – The Golden State has just issued a proclamation banning Christmas. A spokesperson for Governor Gavin Newsom stated that after days and days of fiery debate, the California senate has decided that it is just too damn ef…
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Cheerleader Scores Touchdown
Everything comes to those who wait, and, for those patient Dallas Cowboys fans, their long wait certainly paid off yesterday with a 30-7 win against the Cincinnati Bengals, a win made even more satisfying after one of their cheerleaders scored one of…
Read full storyTrump appoints 18 Warped Republicans to SCOTUS in Operation Speed.
The U.S. Supreme Court suddenly found itself enhanced by 18 Republicans who surrendered their governorships for immediate appointment to the Supreme Court as justices. While America slept, Trump tweeted his new Executive Order: ‘In all 18 Red stat…
Read full storyPop-Up Ads Ruin Life in The Matrix
The appearance of pop-up ads in everyday reality has prompted leading scientists to speculate that what we perceive as “real life” is nothing more than a virtual reality simulation. Oxford philosopher Nick Bostrom started all this utter nonsense in a…
Read full storyWoman Finds Happiness Before Wood-chipper Demise
Paducah, Ky: Bethany Gathers was on a mindful meditation walk when she started to run. Rudy, her husband heard screaming. “I knew it was Betty. I thought she was in some kind of trouble. Then she seen me and was hollerin’ "oh, I’m happy, I’m finally…
Read full storyLike A Slowly Collapsing Soufflé, Trump Says Election Not Over
Poof, like a slowly collapsing soufflé, Donald Trump insists that the election isn’t over. But it’s over. Done. Finished. The fat lady sang. Joe Biden won. Pack your bags. Time to go back home. It isn’t like the grim reaper, but it is. Using capit…
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