Woman Finds Happiness Before Wood-chipper Demise

Funny story written by Harry Klondike

Monday, 14 December 2020

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Buster and Sniffy in mourning

Paducah, Ky: Bethany Gathers was on a mindful meditation walk when she started to run. Rudy, her husband heard screaming. “I knew it was Betty. I thought she was in some kind of trouble. Then she seen me and was hollerin’ "oh, I’m happy, I’m finally happy!" Then she fell on some limbs that were being put through a wood chipper, and that was it. She went feet first so hopefully that gave her a few more seconds to be happy.”

Her memorial service will be held at the Peek-a-Boobie strip club where she worked before marrying her husband. Mrs. Gathers leaves behind a husband (Rudy) and two beagles (Buster and Sniffy). She also leaves behind many adoring fans who knew her as Electra Two Tons. Martha Brewer will be presiding over the service, which will feature a video of her “fog horn flapper” routine that she was famous for.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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