WASHINGTON , D.C. – (Satire News) – The President is furious after learning hackers from Hungary have compromised his personal computer.
The group, calling itself Covfefe XYZ-83, say some of the info they have viewed would make Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby blush.
The group was able to get every email Trump has ever written, including hundreds to President Putin, President Kim Jong-un, Scott Baio, Hope Hicks, and Stormy Daniels.
They also have all of his tax records going back to 1966, which show that he owes President Putin $39 million, Scotland $13 million, and Stormy Daniels $1.3 million.
The Covfefe hackers have just released, to Wikipedia, intimate info, such as the vital statistics of First Lady Melania Trump; 38C-24-36.
They have, reportedly, already sent a lot of the hacked info to talk show hosts, including Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Fallon, James Corden, and Whoopi Goldberg.
The Hungarian Barbarians, as the FBI has tagged the hackers, divulged that they have over 27,000 photos of hot, sexy, lascivious women, that they plan to release to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.
When Trump was asked to comment, he was not able to, since he was throwing up like hell.
