Local Man Attempting To Walk 5000 Meters On His 100th Birthday Breaks Both Legs, Fractures Right Arm And Suffers Serious Concussion
Admiral Tim Less, from Mowtow Mulberry, failed in his bid to raise money for the NHS on his 100th birthday, after he tripped and fell just seven meters into his marathon walk. Tim, a WWII Veteran, had decided to raise some money on his birthday,...
Read full storyThe Spoof Acquired By The ONION In Hostile Takeover
BILLINGSGATE POST: The Wall Street Journal announced today that The ONION, an American satirical digital media company based in Chicago, has acquired its counterpart in Great Britain by going to its shareholders to get the acquisition approved; a ho...
Read full storyBirmingham Zoo Gets Creative to Offset Operational Costs
(Birmingham, Alabama) As the Coronavirus continues to keep the country in a virtual lockdown state, many US businesses have had to shutter and weather the storm. For some, it can be a simple closing of a small shop or hair salon, but for others, it i...
Read full storyMan's Toothache Cured After He Hears Sound Of Dentist's Drill
A man who spent a whole weekend with his hand attached to his jaw in an unsuccessful attempt to soothe his acute toothache, has revealed how that very same toothache disappeared without a trace, once he turned up at the dentist's surgery and heard th…
Read full storyNashville Man Wonders What Noses Have to Do with Mindfulness
While being trained in mindfulness at a local meditation center, Ben Chapman of Nashville, Tennessee, became confused when his teacher kept referring to various different noses. “The teacher kept talking about one nose breathing in, one nose breat...
Read full storyThe C-19 Stay-in-Your-Home Baby Boom Will Hit in January
NEW YORK CITY – The National Institute of Births has just released statistics that show that the nation can expect a huge spike in baby births in January (nine months from now). NIB Executive Director, Dr. Grover Kimkullen, said that with the new...
Read full storyShelter-in-Placers are Now Having Parties Through the Magic of Face-Timing
MIAMI – People who are following the orders to shelter-in-place and stay-at-home, have just found a way to get together with relatives, friends, neighbors, and love interests. Noted party planner, Lucy Bogart, who is known in high society circles...
Read full storyTom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Are Together Again
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – One of the NFL’s most successful all-time quarterback/receiver duos is being reunited. Long-time New England Patriots teammates and best friends, Tom Brady and Ron Gronkowski, will once again get to thrill football fan...
Read full storyA Woman is Warned That if She Flies a Drone Over The White House Again the Drone and Her Will Both be Shot
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States Secret Service has had a nice long talk with a Miss Patsy Marie Stockard, 26, of Adelphi, Maryland. Miss Stockard, who is an unemployed pole dancer, was caught flying her Explorer Magellan X-13 Drone over the W...
Read full storyElvis Costello Has New Hit About Obsolete Technology
Rocker Elvis Costello’s new song about an obsolete form of technology is climbing up the charts. The chart topper, “Poor Fractured MP3 Player”, is his biggest hit since 2010 when “CD Walkman Out of Time” hit the Top 40. Since his first hit about a...
Read full storyBritain Groans, As Boris Johnson Doesn't Die
There were long, only half-stifled groans amidst widespread muffled unrest, this week, as Prime Minister Boris Johnson, after being admitted to a hospital intensive care unit to battle against the Coronavirus, didn't die. Johnson, showing the kind...
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