Nashville Man Wonders What Noses Have to Do with Mindfulness

Written by Chrissy Benson

Wednesday, 22 April 2020

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Although not very good at mindfulness, Ben Chapman is getting to know suffering.

While being trained in mindfulness at a local meditation center, Ben Chapman of Nashville, Tennessee, became confused when his teacher kept referring to various different noses.

“The teacher kept talking about one nose breathing in, one nose breathing out, one nose breathing short, one nose breathing long,” said Chapman. “But I’ve only got one nose. And it’s doing only one thing at a time.”

He shook his head woefully. “Honestly, it’s tough trying to focus on a bunch of different things all at once. I’m much better at zoning in on particulars and concentrating exclusively on one thing at a time. I’m not very good at this mindfulness thing.”

Still, despite the challenges posed by noses and multitasking, Chapman does plan to stick with the Buddhist path as best he can, even if it’s painful and distressing and tends to make him anxious. “On the plus side, I am getting to know suffering, so maybe it’s not a total loss. As they say, it is what it is.” He chuckled. "I've got that part down, at least."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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