Scientists Deny PETA Claim That Meat Is Evil
A team of UK scholars have fired back at PETA and vegan activists’ claims that “meat is evil.” While conceding that our diets could use less meat, they warned that meat proteins are essential for the development of the young, especially in impoverish...
Read full storyNashville Man Looks Himself in Mirror and Loses Face
After ingesting a plate of overcooked veal parmesan at a corporate dinner event in a dimlit downtown steakhouse, Joshua Hicks of Nashville, Tennessee, glanced up at the mirrored wall to make sure he didn't have any tomato sauce on his white shirt, on...
Read full storyHousemartins Rename Iconic Album After Hull City's Midweek Win
The Housemartins, the now-defunct Hull pop band responsible for the iconic album 'London 0 Hull 4', have renamed - and will re-release - the disc from today, as a tribute to their heroes, Hull City. The Tigers were in action in midweek, against pr...
Read full storyBuffalo Bills Fan Creamed His Underpants After Latest Win
The AFC East may well be won by the New England Patriots (10-1) come January, but their closest rivals, the Buffalo Bills, (8-3), are giving them a real run for their money, and one Bills fan was so elated after his team's latest victory, he literall...
Read full storyMan Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit
A man was recovering in hospital this morning having spent a night under observation, after becoming ill when he got just a little too close to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who was making a speech on his campaign trail. David Syclops, from Hunsl...
Read full storyMauricio Pochettino Not Interested In Arsenal Job
Former Tottenham Hotspur boss, Mauricio Pochettino, has said in unofficial comments that he is "not interested" in the vacant manager's position at Arsenal, only hours after former incumbent, Unai Emery was sacked. Pochettino, himself sacked from...
Read full storyExtremely Heavy And Obnoxious Amounts Of 'Soul-Draining' Bullshit Likely To Spread Throughout Midwest Over Next Couple Of Weeks
According to radar that doesn't work all the time as well as some reports that may or may not be completely accurate, some extremely heavy and obnoxious amounts of 'soul-draining' bullshit will be pushing through the Midwest during the first half of...
Read full storyLocal jihadist expresses annoyance as Londoners enjoy quiet drink following London Bridge outrage
A 23-year-old man from Whitechapel in East London with a conviction for terrorism, rang his local newspaper last night to express his annoyance that Londoners seemed to be enjoying their customary Friday evening drink in the bars around London Bridge...
Read full storyMan Is Sick And Tired Of Seeing The Same Advert
A man has complained about what he says is a systematic attempt to make him buy stuff, after he was repeatedly exposed to a particular advertizement whilst using the internet this very morning. The man, Moys Kenwood, 56, told of how, throughout hi...
Read full storyPrince Andrew To Meet Virginia Face-To-Face To See If She Can Jog His Memory
Prince Andrew, the man who admitted he had wracked his brains to see if he could remember raping an underage American girl when she was just 17, is to meet the girl again, face-to-face, to see if she can 'jog his memory'. The Prince, also known as...
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