Are you excited about the Archer's Pantomime this year?
Hello, I am Brian Asshat, esquire of the parish of Chutney on The Fritz, protector of the English language, spotter of trains, and bell ringer, and I have just one question for you: Are you excited at the Archer's Pantomime this year? I am not...
Read full storyTrump Invites Monty Python to Establish New York Media Outlet
In an effort to further press the failing New York Times and drive home his point that the “grey lady” of journalism is not what she used to be, President Trump has invited the Monty Python gang to move to New York and establish a parodic counterweig...
Read full storyNew York Man Finally Finds Therapist Smart Enough to Understand Him
For all his exceptional looks, intelligence, and abilities, 28-year-old Bryce Rodman had had a checkered history with the therapists he'd worked with, until he finally found one smart enough to understand him. "I wouldn't say it's rocket science,...
Read full storyBritain, U.S. Plan Celebration of Special Relationship Following Expected Johnson Victory
In anticipation of Mr. Johnson’s expected landslide victory over the Corbyn-led Labour Party, plans are already underway for reestablishing closer relations between Britain and the U.S. The early parameters of a possible post-Brexit trade deal a...
Read full storyTwo Flies Put To Death At Breakfast
A man has revealed how, minding his own business eating his breakfast this morning, he became aware of two houseflies that had landed on the rim of his plate, and were indulging in a bit of 'the old in-out'. Moys Kenwood, 56, had finished his Corn...
Read full story"The Chantix Turkey is Smoking!"
The White House, Washington D. C. After Donald Trump refused to pardon the Chantix turkey - the name they gave to the fowl presented this year to the White House - and condemned the popular bird to the president's own oven on Thanksgiving Day, thing...
Read full storyMauricio Pochettino Seen Circling Emirates
Mauricio Pochettino, the former Tottenham Hotspur manager, who, earlier in the week had been spotted in various locations around Manchester, was last night seen lurking around the Emirates Stadium before, during and after Arsenal's 2-1 Europa League...
Read full storyStreet brawl descends into full-scale Trump rally
Police were forced to draw batons and wade into a Friday night punch-up in Whitechapel Road last night as the melee descended into a full-scale Donald Trump political rally. Twelve arrests were made, mostly for insulting behaviour and affray, and...
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