Street brawl descends into full-scale Trump rally

Written by Clive Danton

Friday, 29 November 2019

image for Street brawl descends into full-scale Trump rally

Police were forced to draw batons and wade into a Friday night punch-up in Whitechapel Road last night as the melee descended into a full-scale Donald Trump political rally.

Twelve arrests were made, mostly for insulting behaviour and affray, and a number of "Trump Ain't No Chump" banners confiscated.

Chief Inspector Toby Dell from the Whitechapel Constabulary said last night, "We normally turn a blind eye to these weekend altercations between the local yobbos, but when a member of the public informed us that some of the mob were carrying pro-Trump banners, we decided to move in and break things up.

"Had we not done so it would only have been a matter of time before a black woman was punched in the face and dragged along the ground behind a car or something along those lines.

When told of the incident, Mr Trump issued a brief statement: "When Donald J. Trump hears about heavy-handed treatment being meted out to my fans by the limey cops I just want to punch those blue-belly sonsofbitches in the face, to be honest with you.

"If that had taken place in Brooklyn, the batons that those lily-livered shmucks carry would have been shoved up their asses right before they were carried away on stretchers."

In other news, peacenik Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, was joined by a handful of protestors outside a nursery school in Plaistow yesterday, demanding the cessation of 'competitive' sandcastle building in the play area.

They were making the claim that children whose sandcastles weren't particularly sturdy, would turn to drugs or crime in later life as a result of their friends having taken the piss out of them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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