Latest Wrestling Pay-Per-View Results
Results from the Ultra-Mega-Doom-Colossal-Extravaganza 5 Mighty Superstar Wrestling Federation pay-per-view from the thriving metropolis of Pickering, Ontario, Canada (population 91,771, most of which who would rather live in Toronto): Match 1: Ar...
Read full storyProgressive Christian Therapist Secretly Judges Gay Client for Being Too Well-Adjusted
Unlike most of his fundamentalist Christian fellows, progressive Christian psychologist Lee Haley of Nashville, Tennessee, doesn’t believe that gay men are doomed to hell or in need of therapeutic “conversion,” but he admitted to secretly judging his...
Read full storyMarvel announce new superheroes for upcoming films
The Marvel Cinematic Universe tells a complex story, full of the sort of superheroes that simple-minded people love. There have been around twenty films already, each one referencing the others in a confusing way which forces viewers to watch them al...
Read full storyDemon Possessed Teddy Bear Decides To Attack Education And Religion Instead Of Lonely Writer
Grant County, Wisconsin. A demonically possessed teddy bear with glowing red eyes and razor-sharp teeth crawled silently into the bed of Platteville resident, Clive Johnson, 39, and decided NOT to stab him in the face with an extremely large steak k...
Read full storyGiant Red Spider Crawled Over Man's Legs As He Took A Dump
A giant red spider caused a certain amount of alarm yesterday, when it crawled out from under the toilet seat and over the legs of a man who was taking a crap. The man, Bruce Warner, a resident of Crook Springs in western Australia, had raced to h...
Read full storyThe Fat Anvil Sings: Wile E Mueller Suffers Apocalyptic Defeat By Trump Runner
BILLINGSGATE POST: Plunging through a deep and putrid Washington swamp, the Trump Runner of the Apocalypse rode again. In Biblical lore, there were four runners. They were known as Famine, Pestilence, Destruction, and Death. The Trump Runner was all...
Read full storyThe Start of June Is The End Of May
What with all the jostling going on with the Conservative Party leadership contest, as well as the still undecided disaster area that is Brexit in the forefront of people's minds, we thought we'd bring you some light relief from politics. Time is...
Read full storyProgress in India-Pakistan Peace Talks
After months of stalled talks, UN diplomats are pleased to report a significant breakthrough in negotiations between nuclear-armed rivals, India and Pakistan: "Neither side was willing to dismantle its nuclear warheads or decommission its rockets,...
Read full storyPresident Trump Popularity Rating Increase Based On Newborn Baby Data
US President Donald Trump is now more popular than ever, and there are firm statistics to prove it! The US Office of Statistical Research (USOSR) has published figures which show that last year, the number of newborn baby boys being given the nam...
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