The Fat Anvil Sings: Wile E Mueller Suffers Apocalyptic Defeat By Trump Runner

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 1 June 2019

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The Trump Ruuner

BILLINGSGATE POST: Plunging through a deep and putrid Washington swamp, the Trump Runner of the Apocalypse rode again. In Biblical lore, there were four runners. They were known as Famine, Pestilence, Destruction, and Death. The Trump Runner was all of these and more. With the ACME Anvil as his only offensive weapon, time after time, he outwitted the befuddled Wile E Mueller. Just when it seemed the Trump Runner was doomed, the ACME Anvil somehow landed on the head of Wile E Mueller, as if destiny were manifested by a force greater than gravity.

Not since 1923, when Jack Dempsey, alias, the Manassa Mauler, climbed back into the ring and knocked out Luis “Angel” Firpo in the second round of a championship heavy-weight bout in the Polo Grounds, has there been such a comeback.

In the ring, Dempsey was equipped with a two-fisted attack. He boxed out of a low crouch, bobbing, weaving and bombing. He continually stalked the man in front of him and was an unrelenting and remorseless fighter; the Trump Runner, likewise.

Disgraced and downgraded from a tornado to a mild zephyr, Wile E Mueller will be just another name swept up into the dustbin of history.

Slim Everdingle: “He was a legend in his own mind.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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