Progress in India-Pakistan Peace Talks

Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

Saturday, 1 June 2019

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One call center down, 999 to go...

After months of stalled talks, UN diplomats are pleased to report a significant breakthrough in negotiations between nuclear-armed rivals, India and Pakistan:

"Neither side was willing to dismantle its nuclear warheads or decommission its rockets," reported special envoy Don Peace from Islamabad, "but each side agreed that the other's telemarketing offices would become high priority targets. This is great news for English-speaking telephone subscribers all over the world!"

Added Pakistani politician Ismail Alladina: "This seemed like a very reasonable proposal. In fact, members of my political party unanimously advocate for blowing up our own telemarketing offices before we target any Indian facilities. The proliferation of outbound call centers in our country should be an embarrassment to all Pakistanis. Few tears would be shed if we wiped them off the face of the earth."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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