
Dancing Rats in Baltimore - Amazing!
BALTIMORE MD - It has been more than three years since "New York City Pizza Rat" became an Internet video sensation. Some clever residents of Baltimore have used video editing software and camera footage to create a new "Extravaganza of Rodent Choreo...
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Paranoid Cop Falsely Accuses Booger Slinger
As police across the fruited plain are being squirted with water pistols and “deloused” with buckets of water, many members of the so-called “thin blue line” have become paranoid. A Marion County, Indiana, officer, Dee Jay, who asked to remain ano...
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Tour de France Won By Rider With Unpronounceable Name
The Tour de France, cycling's greatest challenge, a three-week endurance test that certainly sorts the men from the boys, rolled into Paris for its final stage yesterday, and the rider who finished ahead of all the others, this year's champion, was T...
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Unemployed Man Rebrands as Free Spirit
To assist his ailing social life, 33-year-old Lewis Largo, a former technical consultant who's struggled to find work since being laid off from financial services giant Ernst & Young almost four years ago, decided to rebrand from "out of work" to...
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Mogg And Roll
As the affably cuntish Boris Johnson assembles his “war cabinet” (a gang of sociopaths with no regard for anyone but themselves), the equally insane Mogg has begun to exert his influence over the government. Which, like anyone who has never really ha...
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Winks Thinks A Football Tale
Tottenham starlet and all round average midfielder, Harry Winks, has been detained under the mental health act after proclaiming that “trophies are just around the corner” for his Tottenham team. He followed this bizarre outburst with statements like...
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Van Gogh Revolver To Be Used In Artwork Installation
The art world has been 'turned on its head' this weekend with the news that the 7mm Lefaucheux revolver with which artist Vincent van Gogh shot himself on 27 July, 1890, is, itself, to become part of an artwork installation. Van Gogh survived the...
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Baltimore's Rats in Protest March to White House
Baltimore, MD. This city's rats, outraged by President Donald Trump's debasing references to their presence here, have left the city in droves, marching in protest toward the White House. "We find Baltimore a choice place to live. How dare the pre...
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"It Wasn't Me!", Said Girl
A filthy young New York streetgirl accused of stealing and eating some chocolate from a shop, has claimed she wasn't responsible, despite the evidence still being all over her face. The grotty urchin, who looked about 5 years old, was interviewed...
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Trump Orders Mueller Have His Gums Painted Purple For Lying
BILLINGSGATE POST: Like a demented rat (genus Rattus) munching on cream cheese with rubber-tipped teeth, so that no one might hear him, Special Counsel Robert Mueller mealy-mouthed his way through two House committee hearings last week. Mueller,...
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