Mogg And Roll

Written by Backandtotheleft

Monday, 29 July 2019

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"Cunt. A proper cunt" BATTL News

As the affably cuntish Boris Johnson assembles his “war cabinet” (a gang of sociopaths with no regard for anyone but themselves), the equally insane Mogg has begun to exert his influence over the government. Which, like anyone who has never really had any authority, is manifesting itself in increasingly insane ways.

A source close to Mogg said:

"Never mind the plot, he’s lost the whole fucking book! He wants everyone to use Imperial measurements, call non-titled males esquire, only wipe your arse with two pieces of toilet roll. The guys a fucking idiot!"

Mogg, of course, has an increasing detachment for reality and is seemingly stuck in a time loop which binds him to the Victorian era.

He is well known as the only man in parliament who refers to cholera outbreaks as “poor people cleanser”. His ability to throw Latin phrases (often used incorrectly) into everyday conversation has marked him out as a bit of a gimp, but in the cavalcade of raging fuck nuts that is the Cuntservative Party, he is revered.

Mogg himself is an advocate for bringing back the cane, only allowing service personnel to enter through the back door, and getting the Irish off our streets for good. For him the solution to the Irish backstop is to arrest all the Irish.

Having the personality and warmth of a mouldy cock ring that’s been left out in the sun, has, of course, made him hugely popular in the Tory party, with many young Conservatives seeing him as the future.

The Conservative Party is the result of years and years of selected inbreeding, and Mogg is a shining example of what can be achieved through fucking your mum.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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