Nebraska Artist Struck Dead by Inspiration
At shortly before midnight on a frigid winter night, 32-year-old landscape painter and architectural renderer Vincent Heidelberg, of Lincoln, Nebraska, was struck by a bolt of inspiration – which rendered him dead. “It’s a shock and a tragedy,” sa…
Read full storyMan arrested for being white has no defense
A 36-year-old man from West Didsbury, Manchester, was arrested and later charged for the crime of being white. Timothy Miller was arrested in the Moss Side area, a south Manchester suburb that became notorious in the 1990s for its high level of g...
Read full storyMystery proposal for Trump's wall (WMP) sends ambulances screaming through the night
A dramatic new solution to funding The Wall has emerged. Where this idea came from is unclear, possibly inspired by former president George W. Bush yesterday. Mr. Bush delivered a stack of pizzas to government workers without pay due to the shu...
Read full storyShort-sighted alpaca gets special deal from French Specsavers!
Brittany, France: After being forcefully exported from the mountain ranges of Peru to France, a disorientated, short-sighted alpaca decided it was time to find out where the hell it really was. Lost and wandering through a tiny Brittany village, i...
Read full storyNative American Indians Call Pow Wow Over Trump's 'Wall'
Native American elders have called for a pow wow to decide upon action, after President Donald Trump's continued insistence that he will build a barrier around their native tribal lands. The situation, already bubbling underneath the surface of th...
Read full storyUnemployed Government Workers Build Wall Around White House
Washington, D.C. As soon as it was announced that President Trump was back in the White House, 400,000 government workers - that aren't getting paid because of the government shutdown - suddenly appeared, and, with each one contributing a brick, too...
Read full storyPhone Kept Ringing Constantly in Empty Cabin
Pennsylvania. News reporters rushed to an empty cabin in the middle of the woods last Thursday, only to find that a land-line phone next to a dirty kitchen table was ringing constantly. The complete and total silence of the abandoned structure se...
Read full storyPrince Philip To Change His Car To One That 'Causes' Fewer Accidents
In Royal news, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, is considering changing his vehicle, after spectacularly failing to realize that, at 97 years old, accidents are your own fault, not the car's. The accident-prone Duke was involved in a smash wi...
Read full storyPrince Philip Arrested Again
The troublesome Duke of Edinburgh has been arrested just two days after rolling his Land Rover in a Norfolk road accident - this time for not wearing a seat belt. Prince Philip, 97, was out gadding-about again after Thursday's smash, when he was s...
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