Cheaply Purchased Trac Phone Runs Out Of Minutes As Man Desperately Tries To Provide Advice To Others
Beloit, Wisconsin. Brad Steiner's trac phone ran out of minutes last Friday, February 1st, after he spent the entire evening desperately trying to provide deep advice to others who were feeling emotionally distressed and extremely troubled. Brad,...
Read full storyBlack And White Minstrel Show To Make Comeback!
The Black and White Minstrel Show, the popular 'blackface' song and dance extravaganza broadcast on BBC television for 20 years, is to astound viewers once more, by making a comeback to the small screen this spring. The show, which was axed in 197...
Read full storyLakers Trade Magic Johnson to Cleveland
Almost lost in the flurry of last-minute trades before the NBA deadline, was a strange arrangement between two struggling teams who once were at the top of their respective divisions. In a surreptitious exchange, the Los Angeles Lakers sent their...
Read full storyMale Ladybug Speaks Out about Gender Identity
Lester, a male member of the coccinellid species commonly known as the ladybug or ladybird, recently made waves by speaking out about his struggles with gender identity. "Just because I'm cute and female-friendly doesn't mean I'm a lady," said Les...
Read full storyGuaido to receive citizens committee award for support of US intervention
Breaking: Yesterday, self-proclaimed president of Venezuela Juan Guaido indicated he just might allow the possibility of US intervention to rescue his country. He stressed the importance of saving lives as motivation for this military intervention...
Read full storyZombie deer disease sweeping US and Canada originated at political rally with Sarah Sanders
Health authorities are now warning that instead of CWD (chronic wasting disease) spreading to humans, it derives from humans. Known as “zombie deer disease” in its current form, recent news has warned of animals such as deer, elk, and moose behavi...
Read full storyMan Absolutely Nails Perfect Wave to Passing Driver
A man driving back from the dump today absolutely nailed his wave to a minor acquaintance who passed him in his car. “It was just fantastic,” said the man. “The guy drove past me, I recognized his car, I made eye contact and then gave a cool nonch...
Read full storyBoy Decides To Sue His Parents So That He Can Go To Ibiza
A boy has told a group of his closest friends that he is to sue his parents for having him without his consent, so that he can pay for a holiday to Ibiza. Sam Bratt, 17, says he did not ask to be born, and, although he loves his life, and his pare...
Read full storyPresident Trump Suffers Amnesia Over Jamal Khashoggi
President Donald Trump has said he is trying his best to comply with the wishes of Congress by replying to their letter about the murdered Saudi dissident journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, but can't for the life of him, remember who Khashoggi was. Sena...
Read full storyInternationally Famous Ghost Hunter's Penis Too Small To Enter Hoia Baciu Forest In Romania At Night Without Cameras
With an ego the size of Jupiter, and a constant desire for media attention because he feels insecure with himself, internationally-famous ghost hunter, Jonathan Casey, confessed last Tuesday that his penis is only 4 inches long when fully erect, and...
Read full storyTurning Point UK In Total Confusion Over Stuff
Turning Point UK, the new right-wing student organisation, is this morning reeling in confusion over more-or-less everything it could think of. Having seen its launch on social media dogged by dozens of parody accounts, making fun of it, TPUK's ch...
Read full storyConcerned Wisconsin Resident Determined To End 'Abusive' Company Strategy Of Selling Shitty, Expired Beer To People Who Live In The Midwest
Crawford County. After consuming two bottles of cheap wine and some tequila, smoking 3 packs of Marlboro Reds, and then relentlessly draining 28 cans of 'Natural Ice' beer, local resident, Brad Harvell, fell down on the front doorstep of his house b...
Read full storyHarlem Globetrotters In Row With The Spoof Over Logo
The Harlem Globetrotters, the famous globetrotting basketball superstars from Harlem, who wowed fans in the 1970s with their crazy-but-skilful on-court antics, are considering taking legal action against the owner of a satirical news website over the...
Read full storyDemocrats as Obnoxious as Republicans at Committee Hearings
Matthew Whitaker, acting attorney general, was the powerless victim of pious Democratic scorn at Friday's House Judiciary committee hearing. He must have felt like an abortion rights or Free Speech advocate being skewered by Republicans at a compara...
Read full storyFly-Face Pelosi Explains Trump Clapback: “Was Actually Zapping A Fly”
BILLINGSGATE POST: Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Everyone in the Beltway knows that Nancy Pelosi hates to be called “Fly-Face.” But for years she has had to wear an ACME Bug-Zapper around her neck to keep those nasty pests off her...
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