Internationally Famous Ghost Hunter's Penis Too Small To Enter Hoia Baciu Forest In Romania At Night Without Cameras

Written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 9 February 2019

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Internationally Famous Ghost Hunter's Penis Too Small To Enter Hoia Baciu Forest In Romania At Night Without Cameras

With an ego the size of Jupiter, and a constant desire for media attention because he feels insecure with himself, internationally-famous ghost hunter, Jonathan Casey, confessed last Tuesday that his penis is only 4 inches long when fully erect, and that it fails to please his demanding, money-hungry, narcissistic, stupid, controlling, cheating, 'bitch-of-a-girlfriend' every time he tries to make love to her.

The forest itself, which is linked to intense spiritual and paranormal activity, may have been a little bit too much to bargain for, according to the shriveled-up, little 'weener' of a man.

Realizing that constantly saying "Oh, My God!" and "What Was That?" probably wouldn't work in the forest at night while completely alone without cameras, Mr. Casey turned the challenge down.

"I don't go anywhere without my crew," Jonathan stated as his penis suddenly shrunk from 4 inches to 3 inches.

Carpathian Mountains and the Legend of 'Vlad the Impaler' aside, Mr. Casey then resorted to saying that the administrative staff wouldn't support it, as he contemplated the fact that crooked tree growth, spots where vegetation fails to grow, floating orbs, stories about previous researchers who started bleeding internally for no apparent reason, and people mysteriously vanishing, may indicate that there is a 'real' demonic entity that lurks deep inside certain parts of the territory at night.

After his TV Show, Spirit Searchers, was cancelled, Mr. Casey decided to stay with his girlfriend and obey her every order.

He was shortly replaced by Mr. Henry Lancaster, a much braver man who has a professional background in Ghost Hunting, as well as an eight-inch-long penis.

Mr. Lancaster's new show, I Just Pulled My Pants Down In The Middle Of The World's Most Haunted Forest, And What Are You Bitches Going To Do About It? will be airing next Wednesday.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more