Nancy Pelosi - "90% of Drugs Come Through Customs Checkpoints"
SAN FRANCISCO - As politicians in Washington DC struggle with whether or not walls can do anything, one point of debate concerns the flow of drugs on the southern border. In a shocking revelation from a member of Congress, only 10% of Illegal Drug Sh...
Read full storyFreezing Chicago Fireman Hoping for Nice, Warm Neighborhood Fire
As Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois continue to struggle with the polar vortex cold snap, people are trying to come up with imaginative and often unorthodox ways to stay warm in sub-zero temperatures. A member of the Chicago fire brigade has co...
Read full storyFor Whom the Funding Bill Tolls
Nancy Pelosi's bill to fund government for the rest of the fiscal year tolls a death knell for President Trump's border wall. When it clears the House on a largely party line vote, the bill, all told, will have oodles of money for border security but...
Read full storyAlexandra Stepanova outfit in love duet on ice reveals sensational aspect
Ms. Stepanova and her dancing partner Ivan Bukin showed magnificent talent in the recent European Championships Gala Show in Belarus, Russia. The show offered an ice-skating version of two lovers intensely expressing amour. The two began by lyi...
Read full storyFederal Reserve Apologizes to Trump, Nation’s Billionaires for Allowing Savers to Earn Interest
Washington - After being heavily criticized by President Trump for raising interest rates from zero to just below the inflation rate, Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell and Fed Open Market Committee members have indicated that they will slow, or...
Read full storyMargaret Thatcher Statue Is Creepily Real, And May Come To Life, Say Residents
A statue of former Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, due to be sited in her hometown of Grantham in Lincolnshire, has worried local residents, who say it looks too lifelike, and may come alive to scare them. Thatcher, thankfully now dead, was the...
Read full storyCovington Catholic High School Takes the Boredom Out of Washington D.C. Tours
Covington, Kentucky - It's a common complaint among today's teens. In high school they are sometimes loaded onto buses to spend a day or two on tedious tours of our nation’s Capitol, to visit sites of historical interest such as the Washington Monum...
Read full storyLondon Hospital Denies Offering Sexual Favours from Nurses
Staff at a famous London hospital have been dismayed by an internal email which featured a team of beaming young nurses under the headline "Pick up a Twiddle Muff". Ageing hospital administrator, Paxton Quigley, who wished to remain anonymous, to...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Guardiola Under Threat, Come Back Mourinho, Pochettino Not Employed to Win Trophies
After his crisis club's nightmare 2-1 defeat by no-hopers Newcastle United, Pep Guardiola is fighting to save his job as he seeks to get Manchester City's title defence back on track. "Next week will be tough with Arsenal, Everton and Chelsea," he to...
Read full storyCruise Missiles Back At Greenham Common As Part Of Trump-UK Trade Pact
Washington DC - A post-Brexit US-UK trade deal will see the return to British soil of American cruise missiles, according to Spoof sources close to Mike Pompeo, President Trump’s trusty Secretary of Snakes. The deal is being thrashed out with Bri...
Read full storyFox News Apologizes to Viewers After Accidentally Reporting a Crime Committed by U.S. Citizen
Washington - Fox News commentator, Tucker Carlson, admitted on-air to outraged viewers, that one of the violent crimes reported by the network involved a suspect actually born in the United States. “We have worked diligently to keep our viewers in...
Read full storyRight Wing Guru Who Proposed Enforced Monogamy Wonders Why Women Don't Attend His Lectures
Toronto - Conservative self-help author and lecturer Jordan Peterson, who has advocated a return to a patriarchal society, and preached against the evils of feminism and liberalism, wondered aloud on a recent talk show why his lectures were attended...
Read full storyTobacco Debate Finally Resolved: Smoking Isn't that Bad for You and Cigarettes May Even Extend Lifespan in Certain Situations
Smoking really isn’t that bad for you and cigarettes may even extend lifespan in certain situations was the big takeaway from a study recently published in the prestigious Personal Choice Journal. The comprehensive study conducted by the Personal...
Read full storyNew Floor Cleaning Machine With 12-Inch, Debris-Expelling Chute Leaves Factory Workers Extremely Pissed Off
Michigan. Employees at Woodland National Decking Products were incredibly aggravated last Monday after the company tested out a newly-purchased, industrial 'floor cleaning machine' with a foot-long chute for expelling debris. As a heavily-inspect...
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