Picture of Extremely Ugly and Dysfunctional Family Displayed on Widescreen Monitor in Employee Break Room
Ohio. Employees at Bob & Todd's Professional Brushworks, a factory that assembles and distributes industrial brooms throughout the Midwest, were shocked and horrified last Monday when a rather upsetting image was displayed on the widescreen moni...
Read full storyTurks, Kurds and Whey, Weigh, Way
Istanbul, Turkey. Special to The Spoof. Turkey's president Recep Tayyip Erdogan today said he would read a peace proposal submitted by the Kurds and weigh the consequences of a summit with their leader, Abdullah Ocalan. "But which Kurds does this...
Read full storyTrump does Elvis Presley at his next rally
The day after last Monday’s appearance to aid a run-off for Mississippi’s Cindy Hyde-Smith, Mr. Trump followed with another special performance. This next rally featured the President in black threads, half-jacket with collar turned up, sunglasses...
Read full storyThe Word Queen Elizabeth Hates
It has been revealed, by secret palace sources, that Queen Elizabeth II dislikes the word, shhhhh: pregnant. Not actually being pregnant, but just the word pregnant. The Queen has been pregnant four times. Her four children have been pregnant eig...
Read full storyMultimillionare Mogg says that Brexitocalypse is nothing to worry about
Nineteenth-century gentleman and unbelievably a politician, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has said that there is nothing to worry about from a no-deal Brexit, after the Bank of England reported that it would cause billions in damage to the UK economy. "We'll b...
Read full storyNightclub owner to open bar on North Sentinel islands
A British nightclub owner has declared that he will open a bar on the remote North Sentinel Islands, near India. The people there are untouched by the modern world and continue to live a Stone Age lifestyle, as they have for tens of thousands of year...
Read full story"Get thee behind me, Stan" and Other Biblical Misconceptions
Despite the death sentence imposed on him in a fatwa issued by the Pope, our fearless Religion Editor, Paxton Quigley, continues his exposés of the contradictions and stupidities of blind faith. In this occasional series he explains some typographical errors, omissions and mistranslations from the bible. "Get thee behind me, Satan." It is well-known that there are gospels missing from the bible...
Read full storyThe F-ing Moron Is President
What’s the big hold up? More people voted for Hillary Clinton to be President of the United States than for the fat, dumb kid in the back of the classroom blowing spit-balls. No-one allows a drunkard to fly a 747 passenger plane off the tarmac, l...
Read full storyEugenie Bouchard at Pecker Island forgot her tennis racket
Renowned blond tennis star, Eugenie Bouchard, is completely enjoying the sun and breezes at Richard Branson’s Necker Island. Currently underway, there is what is known as “the world’s sexiest tennis tournament.” On her second day on the island,...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Mourinho Warning, Motherwell "Bawbag", Sol Campbell, (Kan)Ye West vs Frank Skinner
Before their Champions League match against Young Boys, so-called Manchester United manager, Jose Mourinho, warned his players "if you can't cope with playing at Old Trafford, then go home and watch the match on TV, just like me". BBC Sport has re...
Read full storyPresident Trump To Appeal To 'Hearts And Minds' Of Sentinelese
In an attempt to recover the body of the murdered missionary, John Allen Chau, President Trump has revealed that he is to personally orchestrate a systematic campaign to appeal to the 'hearts and minds' of the Sentinelese savages who have murdered hi...
Read full storyKinder gentler tear gas has multi-purpose applications including unruly school children
With the caravan from Central America now at the border, a new policy features massive blasting of music and lyrics while tear gas is distributed. Paranoia strikes deep Into your life it will creep It starts when you’re always afraid Hey, wha...
Read full storyMan Read Newspaper Left On Train Seat
A man travelling on a Transpennine Express train between Hull and Manchester, found a folded newspaper on a seat, and read it, according to witnesses. The man was seen to board the train at Hull Paragon Interchange at around 8:30am for the schedul...
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