Tiger Woods Has A Horrible Feeling That His Golfing Days Are Numbered
LAS VEGAS - Legendary golfer Tiger Woods recently talked with a reporter with The Sports Bet Gazette about his recurring back problem. Woods told Zorro La Bamba with SBG that his back had been feeling okay up until a few days ago. La Bamba aske...
Read full storyPuerto Rico Sends 12 Grenade Launchers To The Ukraine
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - The Caribbean Sea country of Puerto Rico has just reported that they've sent some much needed weapons to the military in the Ukraine. Puerto Rican President Henry Salsa stated that he has not forgotten the shipment of 25 ca...
Read full storyWhat Do Those Terms and Conditions Agreements Really Say?
Before you sign your next agreement, YOU MUST READ THIS!! Have you ever installed anything on a computer, or bought something that required that you sign an agreement before installing or completing your purchase? If so, you probably had an agreement that started off by telling you what the terms and conditions were and requiring you to give your approval, such as this: "By accessing this w...
Read full storyCNN's Piers Morgan Is Still Quite Despondent At His Talk Show Being Axed
NEW YORK CITY - Piers Morgan recently told a news agency reporter that when he first was told that his show Piers Morgan Live had been cancelled he felt as if Kirstie Alley and Wynonna Judd had both sat on him at the exact same time. He said that...
Read full storyPharrell Williams Was Asked Not To Wear His Silly-Looking Smokey The Bear Hat At The Academy Awards Show
HOLLYWOOD - Pharrell Williams was nominated for an Oscar for his song "Happy" from the movie Frozen. Before the show started Williams was asked by an executive with the Academy Awards Show that they did not want him to wear his bent up Smokey the...
Read full storyCharles Barkley Says That Kobe Bryant Needs To Hang Up His Jock Strap and Retire
LOS ANGELES - TNT sports analyst Charles "The Fat Bro" Barkley was in LaLaLand visiting his friend Jay Leno who was recently fired from the Tonight Show. Charles was asked by Buckaroo Kazoo with The Turnstile Review what he thought about the Los...
Read full storyGM To Develop More Boring, Uninspired Cars for 2015
GM executives are really excited about their new 2015 line up of boring, uninspired, middle American old peoples cars. "We are thrilled about the limited number of invisible changes you will see with our new 2015 Chevy Impalas and Malibus. Plus t...
Read full storyOn The Other Hand... by Jackson Hoff
Hoff Here. There are many aberrations in nature that are well known as aberrations. Calves with two heads. Shell-less turtles. Dwarf anythings. Journalists. Guidance Counsellors. The list goes on. But there is one that, strangely, oddly, has slowly, imperceptibly gained acceptance in almost every society in the modern world. We've all most likely come in contact with at least one in our lives.
Read full storyBook Review - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
This book, despite the misleading title, is not about a catering crisis at the 2016 Olympic Games. Where, unfortunately due to an oversight, sandwiches intended for the Olympians do not arrive in Rio, Brasil on time, causing the athletes to become extremely famished. That book, I do not believe, has ever been written. And nor should it. The Hunger Games, I decided not to read in full, as...
Read full storyBook Reviews - The Screen Comedies of Mel Brooks, Abba Abba, Much Ado About Nothing
The Big Screen Comedies of Mel Brooks by Crick, Robert Alan I don't understand how on earth this book could omit Mel's funniest movie 'What Women Want' not to mention the movie where he paints his face blue and pretends to be a Smurf then invades Scotland. Abba Abba by Burgess, Anthony If you are expecting this book to be about a Swedish pop group made up of 2 women and 2 men who once w...
Read full storyBook Reviews - The Witches, As You Like It, The Flintstones in the Great Pizza Robbery and Autobiography of a Yogi
As You Like It by William Shakespeare Unfortunately - and quite surprisingly really and in the spirit of the title of the play and in response to Mr Shakespeare - As you like it...no, William, I did not like it. Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda, Paramahansa No mention of Bobo, Jellystone park or the ranger, suggest the next time you write a book about a talking cartoon bear who ste...
Read full storyLittle Caesar's Pizza Wants To Hire Ellen DeGeneres To Be Their Spokesperson
DETROIT - The Detroit-based Little Caesar's Pizza Chain has just stated that they would love to hire Ellen DeGeneres to be their national television spokesperson. A representative for the worldwide pizza franchise, Drew Bizzinetti, informed the ne...
Read full storyPresident Obama Wins $1,375 Betting On The Academy Awards
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama said that he has never enjoyed watching the Academy Award Show more than he did this one. The president watched the Tinsel Town show on The White House Big Screen TV Room along with the first lady (Michelle Obama...
Read full storyPutin treats Yanukovych to lunch and spa day after messy break-up from Ukraine
Ousted President of the Ukraine Vitkor Yanukovych has made his first public appearance in a week today alongside Russian leader and "friend" Vladimir Putin. The two went out for cocktails at a local bar in Moscow and the Russian Premier had announced...
Read full storyU.S. To Boycott Paralympics in Protest Over Oscar Pistorius Trial
WASHINGTON, DC - US Presidential Spokesman, Jay Carney, announced today that the USA will boycott the Sochi Paralympics in protest over the trial of Oscar Pistorius, himself a paraplegic. The announcement came shortly after the completion of the O...
Read full storyPresident Obama Declares War on Winter
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama declared war on winter this morning after Washington DC was hit with another terrible snow storm, dropping nearly four inches of snow on the capital city. In the three previous snow storms, nearly ten inches of sn...
Read full storyDuck Dynasty star dies of duck bite
WEST MONROE, LA - Rob Philertson, patriarch of the Duck Dynasty reality TV show has died of a duck bite, according to A&E. Mr. Philertson died on Saturday night after refusing to seek medical attention after a duck bit his left testicle during...
Read full storyWith World War 3 Looming The Big Question Still Remains - Did Ellen DeGeneres Pocket Pizza Man's Tip?
As tension mounts in the Crimea Peninsula, with Russia threatening to attack Ukraine forces if they do not surrender, the world holds it breath to see if the $500 tip collected by Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres from a host of Hollywood stars actually get...
Read full storySpoof Mix Up Leads To Tragedy
Red faced editors at Spoof HQ are busy piecing together an excuse for a regrettable error that led to tragedy, we learnt today. Through a mix up, the Spoof Crime Correspondent, Shirley Holmes, was sent to Crimea to cover the trial of Blade Runner,...
Read full storyThe iPhone TaskForce Sets Sail From Tokyo
Tokyo (STT News) - A new iPhone case that is set to take the world by storm was unveiled today at the Smartphones Rule the World hardware convention in Tokyo. It's called the 'TaskForce' and it has already pushed aside the much-heralded TaskOne case...
Read full storyJohn Travolta, Kim Novak and Goldie Hawn Cause Melting Chaos At Oscars
Last nights Oscar Ceremony ended in chaos after several high profile actors melted backstage, resulting in pools of molten plastic and the early end of the ceremony. Due to the excessive heat of stage lights and so much plastic surgery, several st...
Read full storyKim Jong-Il tops list of dead people scientists want to re-animate and beat up
Scientists in Switzerland have discovered a way of re-animating dead bodies, using electricity harvested from thunderstorms they believe they can successfully bring back to life a corpse. "As soon as we realised this" said head scientist Trevor D...
Read full storyBarack Obama signs law that stops actors from playing more than one Superhero on screen
It was a momentous day in Washington as President Barack Obama put the finishing touches on a new bill that prevents Hollywood actors from playing more than one superhero on film. The President had been promising laws regulating actors and their por...
Read full storyUK Reign A Bloody Crime Era Says UN Security Council
New York - An emergency session of the UN has condemned the misery of occupation inflicted on the British public by members of the House of Stalin. Security Council Resolution 9-11/666 cites Russian President Vladimir Putin's geriatric octogenaria...
Read full storyArizona Governor Jan Brewer Texted Ellen DeGeneres During The Academy Awards And Told Her To Dress Like A Woman Instead of Like A Man
HOLLYWOOD - Ellen DeGeneres said that she could not believe a text message she received during the Academy Award Show. The host said that during the show's third hour she received a text message from Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona. The 69-year-...
Read full storyPizza Sales Skyrocket As Academy Awards Show Host Ellen DeGeneres Orders Pizzas For The Celebrity Audience
HOLLYWOOD - The Pompous Pizza Parlor located across the street from the Dolby Theater where the Academy Award Show was held has just said that they broke their all-time record for pizza sales thanks to the Oscar's host Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen asked...
Read full storyRussian President Vladimir Putin Said He Was Disappointed That The Movie 'Gravity' Did Not Win The Oscar For Best Picture
MOSCOW - President Putin of Russia said that he was surprised that the movie that he was pulling for to win the Academy Award for best picture did not win. The Russian leader said that he was certain that Gravity starring the sexy Sandra Bullock a...
Read full storySandra Bullock Explains Why She Did Not Win The Academy Award For Best Actress For Her Film 'Gravity'
HOLLYWOOD - Austin-native Sandra Bullock was disappointed that she did not win the Oscar for Best Actress. The Academy Award Show which was hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, an avowed lesbianite, was held at the luxurious Dolby Theater which recently had...
Read full storyBritney Spears Reveals Simon Cowell Wanted To Marry Her
HOLLYWOOD - Britney Spears has come out and stated that when she was appearing as a judge on X-Factor that Simon Cowell and her became very close. The "Oops!...I Did It Again" singer told Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk that Cowell fell...
Read full storyA Park Ranger At Yellowstone National Park Discovers A Grizzly Bear That Loves To Smoke Marijuana
KEYSTONE, Wyoming - A Park ranger at the world famous Yellowstone National Park has reported that he came across an amazing scene. Park Ranger Tanner Roseheimer, 38, informed National Focus Magazine that a few days ago as he was out checking campf...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan and Girlfriend Samantha Ronson's Love Shack Found In Cucamonga
CUCAMONGA, California - A reporter for The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle has stumbled upon what is believed to be the secret love hideout of actress Lindsay Lohan and her disc jockey significant other Samantha Ronson. Fuchsia Garfunkel, no relatio...
Read full storyBook Review - For Whom The Bells Toll by Ernest Hemingway
I read this book after meeting the author during a trip to Washington a few weeks ago. Mr Hemingway was a delightful chap, 6 feet tall, slim and in his mid thirties. Originally from Nigeria he told me to check out this book and his other novels. We parted on good terms, I loaned him $5,000, as he had just lost wallet and he told me he would mail me a check. Being he is a famous author...
Read full storyBook Review - A Farewell To Arms by Ernest Hemingway
I thought (and hoped) that this book would be about a man (or woman) who maybe had had her (or his) arms amputated and (maybe) it would be a lighthearted farce about how he (or she) coped with everyday life without her (or his) limbs. That would have been a great book, loads of funny situations....alas, I fear, the author missed a golden opportunity to write a classic comedy. Next time Mr H...
Read full storyBook Review - Love In The Time Cholera
I found this to be a slow read, mainly because the train I was travelling on, when I read this book got held up in a station while the police removed a drunken passenger. Apparently he had just lost his job and his wife had left him for his brother, who is a dwarf, which was very upsetting. Anyway, that delayed the train for at least 2 hours, as he put up a good fight, but the cop with the m...
Read full storyNorth Korea Prepares to Feed Its Soldiers - Perhaps Go to War
Seoul (STT NEWS) - North Korea today released a terse, threatening statement saying that if South Korea should continue its annual military field exercises and if the US didn't leave the peninsula altogether, the communist country would be forced to...
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