Book Review - The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
One of my favorite books. Once I realized it was not a non-fiction book about a census study on a small French Island or a Sesame Street character with a fetish for numbers and in fact a tale of revenge, hidden identities and twists I was pleasantly surprised. If in fact anyone did compile a census of Monte Cristo, and did indeed count the residents of the small island, I am led to believe t...
Read full storyConfused Manchester United fan has latest result explained to him
Self-proclaimed "Red Devils nut" Simon Bobaganush was left in need of an explanation from fellow fans following Manchester United's defeat to derby rivals Manchester City 3-0 on Tuesday night. Simon had asked other football fans in his local pub to e...
Read full storyBritish Admit Even They Don't Understand Their Monetary System
According to an anonymous source who alleges to be a high-level member of Parliament, even the British government doesn't understand the British monetary system. The fundamental British currency, the Pound Sterling, usually referred to simply as...
Read full storyPutin annoyed government minister didn't congratulate him on newly purchased Crimea
Government minister Sergei Yarov had to apologise to Russian leader Vladimir Putin yesterday. The president had reportedly become upset when Mr Yarov failed to congratulate him on his newly-invaded state of Crimea. "Vladimir can be quite sensitive...
Read full storyFalse alarm as Obama 'package' proves harmless
Brussels, Belgium - Belgian security service operatives said today a 'suspicious' package found on President Obama has proved entirely harmless despite an outwardly bulging initial appearance. "Bum squad - uh, bomb squad! - detectives were summone...
Read full storyChina Has Just Purchased 3 Marijuana Shops In Denver
DENVER - Colorado Senator Jimbo Quickdance [D-Denver] has just let the news media know that the Republic of China has finalized a deal for the purchase of three pot shops located in Denver. The senator stated that he was both excited and honored a...
Read full storyPresident Obama Tells Mexico That If She Disarms Her Nuclear Weapons He'll Allow 400 Illegal Aliens To Enter The USA
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House is reporting that President Obama is not thrilled with the fact that our neighbor to the south has just perfected the art of manufacturing nuclear weapons, or as the Three Amigos, Georgie Bush, Dickie Cheney, and Do...
Read full storyUnited States: Men required to get Hillary Clinton haircuts
Men in the United States will be required to get the same haircut as Hillary Clinton, if she becomes President, it has been reported. The state-sanctioned guidelines will be introduced first in Washington DC, then rolled out across the country - a...
Read full storyNFL cracks down on TD celebrations
Yesterday, NFL head of officiating, Dean Blandino, announced that in 2014 the NFL will be taking the next step in the war against celebrations. That's right, the NFL will be cracking down on touchdown celebrations again by adding to the list of celeb...
Read full storyVice-President Joe Biden Wonders How In The World Ann Coulter Can Have So Much Hatred
SARASOTA, Florida - Vice-President Joe Biden was in Florida speaking to a group of retired citrus pickers. He told them that they are truly great Americans and without them our great nation would not have orange juice, lemon juice, grapefruit juic...
Read full storyPresident Obama Warns Arizona Governor Jan Brewer About Making Frivolous Lame Duck Decisions
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has informed the news media that the president is very upset with the devilry and roguery shenanigans that are going on in the state of Arizona. Colfax pointed out that President Obama is r...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus' Latest Single Ships Platinum
LOS ANGELES - Miley Cyrus says that she cannot remember the last time she was as happy as she is now. She said that she has just been informed by Buck Yazoo with Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine that her latest single titled, "I Twerked The Hell Out Of Rick...
Read full storyThe Houston Astros Owner Promises The Astros Fans That The Team Will Do Better This Year Than They Did Last Year
HOUSTON - Word coming out of the Houston Astros front office is that the team will win more games than they did last year. Hercules Confetti with Sporting Chance Magazine spoke with the owner of the Astros Jim Crane who said that there is nowhere...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Introduces His Sister To The World
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un has just introduced his younger sister, Kim Yo Jong to the people of North Korea as well as to the people of the world. Kimshi as the 27-year-old former director of The North Korean Department of Rice is known...
Read full storyChicharito Reveals That He and Cheryl Cole Have Split
GUADALAJARA, Mexico - Noted Manchester United Red Devils soccer player Javier Hernández Balcázar was visiting his relatives in Mexico when he was asked about the rumor that he had dumped British girlfriend Cheryl Cole. Chicharito informed Laguna V...
Read full storyKathy Griffin Announces That She'll Perform a Benefit Concert in The Ukraine
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kathy Griffin recently stated to Barbara Walters on The View that the only reason why she ever dated Levi Johnston, Sarah Palin's ex-future son-in-law was for the publicity. The 53-year-old comedian who is known as the Red Cougar...
Read full storyFake Selena Gomez Sonogram Is Believed To Have Been Photoshopped By Rush Limbaugh
LOS ANGELES - The Selena Gomez sonogram that was seen around the world has proved to have been a fake. The sonogram which was allegedly taken at Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital in Los Angeles clearly showed that Gomez was pregnant with twin...
Read full storyEdward Snowden Claims He Hacked NASA, the Pentagon, and Oprah Winfrey
MOSCOW - Edward Snowden recently stated to Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich that he is very grateful to President Putin for having taken him in and granted him asylum. Snowden remarked that there is no one in the entire world who has more...
Read full storyAnthony Wiener Is Making Moves to Rehabilitate and Enhance His Media Profile
Former Congressman and washed-out Mayoral candidate Weiner spends time daily in gambits to regain some kind of traction in media attention, whether or not to rehabilitate it is somewhat open to interpretation. Our intrepid reporters have completed r...
Read full storyTodd Palin States That His Wife Sarah Has No Business Running For Any Kind of Office
WASILLA, Alaska - In an announcement that caught many friends, relatives, and politicians by complete surprise Todd Palin has issued a comment regarding his wife, Sarah Palin. Todd told reporters that had assembled in the front yard of their home...
Read full storyThe United Nations Rejects Afghanistan's Request To Change Twitter To Twatter
NEW YORK CITY - The government of Afghanistan has just stated that they will not comply with the decision of the United Nations World Governing Council. Tizzani Lalaran, a spokesperson for Afghanistan stated that his country had decided that in or...
Read full storyThe Lesbian Community Is Upset As World Famous Swimmer Diana Nyad Gets Plucked From American Idol
HOLLYWOOD - There isn't much joy in the lesbian community as one of their champions, world famous swimmer Diana Nyad was the first Dancing With The Stars contestant to be sent home this season. Diana was paired up with Henry Byalikov who said afte...
Read full storyArizona May Ban Facebook
PHOENIX - The latest item on the lame duck agenda list of Governor Jan Brewer is the possibility of banning Facebook from the state. Governor Brewer spoke with American Spotlight Magazine's Lexington Waterbuck and informed him that she has receive...
Read full storyJoan Rivers Confesses That She Wants To Be Anderson Cooper's Sugar Mama
NEW YORK CITY - It appears that Anderson Cooper has become a very popular non-straight dude as lately he has had Cher and Kathy Griffin fighting over his attention and now Joan Rivers has come into the fray. Joan "The Queen of Mean" Rivers appeare...
Read full storyPrison of the Mind
Voting, voluntary exercise, not voiding one's bowels in public, all rights when loses when incarcerated. Some may be more reasonable than others but that is how the prison is designed. One thing prisoners could aways do however is read. Attendant wit...
Read full storyUptick In Newly Created Religions Sparks Concern From Federal Courts, Law Officials
WASHINGTON D.C.--Trustworthy sources, anecdotes, and first-hand accounts all point to the same thing: hundreds of new religions have been springing up all over the nation in anticipation of the Supreme Court's decision on the Hobby Lobby suit brought...
Read full storyJudge Used "Tingler" Under Robe During Trial
A judge in Wisconsin has repeated the performance of the "Penis Pumper" Judge of a few years ago. Although Judge Larry Witherspoon denies the charges, the device fell out of his robes as everyone stood for him to leave for the day. Several atto...
Read full storyAustralia's Got Talent judge rejects every audition
Last night's episode of Australia's Got Talent was the first for a new judge, Bob Smith, who proved tougher than Kyle Sandilands. In a controversial move that is still being debated, the new judge rejected every audition performance. The judge...
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