Anthony Wiener Is Making Moves to Rehabilitate and Enhance His Media Profile

Written by Trinculoman

Wednesday, 26 March 2014


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Former Congressman and washed-out Mayoral candidate Weiner spends time daily in gambits to regain some kind of traction in media attention, whether or not to rehabilitate it is somewhat open to interpretation. Our intrepid reporters have completed research and conducted interviews with informed parties, and here are the latest bits on what Weiner is up to.

Weiner has been employing his skills in writing a blog for the Enterprise Interloper website called "How Sex-texting Can Foster Corporate Teamwork."

Displaying his civic integrity, Wiener has committed to continuously sending his grossest tweet-pics to Lois Lerner, former IRS bigwig, until she assents to actually testify before the House Oversight Committee on the IRS-Tea Party debacle.

Concerned about Mayor DeBlasio's ejection of charter schools from NYC facilities, Weiner has selflessly offered to provide space in his personal residence, so that he can personally "home school" all ousted teenage female charter school students.

He has been in negotiations with the editors of Cosmopolitan to do a show-all, tell-all "Weiner expose" for the magazine. However, an inside source at Cosmo informs us that the editors are demanding that Weiner pay them to publish it.

Weiner has lobbied heavily with Miley Cyrus's agent and managers to become a back-up "flasher" in her on-stage twerking extravaganzas.

Just before deadline we learned that his latest installment for the Enterprise Interloper is entitled: "My Weiner Made Me Do It."

We'll stay on this cutting edge Weiner story, and we won't let any bits remain uncovered.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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