Speculation On How Bobsledder Lolo Jones Manages Daily 9000 Calorie Diet Olympic Committee Examining Stance On Athlete Marijuana Use
Olympic officials have been asking themselves if Marijuana should be outright banned for all athletes who plan to participate in the Olympic games, now that it has become more accepted and legal in certain parts of the world. Speculation has risen...
Read full storyYuck, disgusting! Kate Middleton is pregnant again
London - Less than a year after being admitted to the Royal Freak Hospital with attention deficit vomiting virus the cunning minx has fallen pregnant again, possibly with William's second. The news leaked out early this morning after a discarded r...
Read full storyThe Sad Case of Detective Mucus Stools & The Mulch Family
"My name is Dr. Maas. For many years I accompanied my detective friend, Mucus Stools on his adventures. I remember the Mulch Family Caper well. My friend was visiting me in my flat on Boulevard Street when I heard the telephone ring over Stools playing his spoons and huffing airplane glue. "Hello, this is Dr. Maas." "Eating your dinner, Dr. Maas?" "No, that is my friend Spoons playing...
Read full storyFighting Healthcare Addiction
It's that time of year when companies ask their employees to sign up for another year of benefits like healthcare and dental care. As the GOP has been discussing, it is easy for Americans to become addicted to "the sugar" of healthcare. Most empl...
Read full storyOnly 10% of Americans are Crazy
According to a CNN poll released recently only 10% of Americans think Congress is doing a good job. This is an all time low rating for the Congress. There is an ongoing global manhunt to identify, isolate and quarantine these thirty million Americ...
Read full storyRepublican House And Senate Members To Burn Healthcare Insurance Cards
In a surprising move, to demonstrate they are sincere about: holding back the debt-ceiling, dismantling ObamaCare, and shutting down the government, Republican House and Senate members are planning to gather at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial, simul...
Read full storyPostal Service To Feature Celebrities, Some Notorious, On Stamps To Raise Money
After announcing its default of $5.6 billion on payments for health benefits for retired personnel, the United States Postal Service is in the process of coming up with a variety of ways to raise money to keep the pension fund and the postal service...
Read full storyIntroducing the Hoscars
LET THE HOCSARS BEGIN! What dat? Basically the House of Commons Oscars. Now that we all know that Labour and Tory are one and the same party like the Democrats-Republicans in the US, organizers of Miss World have, with the help of the Freemasons and British Petroleum instituted the HOSCARS. This is anticipated to be a full gala event that will be launched by Gerry Adams of the Irish Sinn Fein...
Read full storyPutin in the frame for Noballs Piss Prize
Bloodyvostock - The bastard son of Pope Karol Wojtyla heads next year's nominations for the global PR gong after manfully jailing three protest singers from Russian girl band Pussy Riot. "It's made the world a safer place," committee organizer Dim...
Read full storyAARP Complains That Many Elderly Colorado Residents Are Getting High Just By Breathing The Marijuana In The Air
DENVER - The American Association of Retired Persons has filed a complaint with the state of Colorado. The complaint states that since the state voted to decriminalize marijuana the amount of people smoking pot has increased by 4,000 percent. A...
Read full storyTed Cruz Reportedly Has 37 Unpaid Parking Tickets
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House has just announced that Republican Senator Ted "The Yapper" Cruz has a total of 37 unpaid parking tickets going back to August of 2012. White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax said that the matter was brought to h...
Read full storyMel Gibson Calls Miley Cyrus The Biggest Media Hound In Hollywood
HOLLYWOOD - The man known as The Mad Aussie, Mel Gibson has said that he has to hand it to Miley Cyrus because the young woman certainly knows how to self-promote herself. Gibson remarked to Bedroom Pillow Talk that he wonders if maybe Miss Cyrus...
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