According to a CNN poll released recently only 10% of Americans think Congress is doing a good job. This is an all time low rating for the Congress.
There is an ongoing global manhunt to identify, isolate and quarantine these thirty million Americans who are reported to be either in coma or suffering from severe brain malfunction. Some other competing theories propose sadism, cynicism or extreme low expectations out of life.
Since this is one out of every ten Americans, there is a good chance there will be many such people within one's friends and family. Readers are encouraged to contact The Spoof immediately if they are able to locate such individuals. There are handsome rewards in the works.
Meanwhile, having verbal or physical contact with nine out of ten Americans is still considered safe.