Republican House And Senate Members To Burn Healthcare Insurance Cards

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

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In a surprising move, to demonstrate they are sincere about: holding back the debt-ceiling, dismantling ObamaCare, and shutting down the government, Republican House and Senate members are planning to gather at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial, simultaneously set fire to their government issued health care insurance cards, and give Abraham Lincoln a hot-foot.

Pass the marshmallows.

"We Republicans will stand and wait in endless lines at the hospital emergency rooms of America just like all of our million fellow constituents without health care!"

Given that Congressional health care covers everyone in the family, (including Aunt Foley living up in the hills of Kentucky) for everything from a heart transplant to Botox to tanning booths, burning congressional health care cards will clearly prove that the Republican Congress is serious and not a group of hypocritical, lying, two-faced ObamaCare bashers, still bearing grudges that the '08 election wasn't won by John McCain and Missy, and the 2012 election was lost by Mitt Romney and the Ayn Rand admirer.

Amen Jesus!

Sobbing in front of microphones set up at the House of Representatives, a very pale Speaker of the House John Boehner lamented that Congressional health care insurance no longer covers tanning booths, which he suggested was a vindictive cut, made by the naturally tanned Kenyan in the White House.

Some cuts are deep.

Similar to the bra burning during the women's movement and the draft-card burning during the Vietnam war, burning Congressional health care cards will prove the Republicans are really, really sincere in their desire to have government work within a budget by cutting out frivolous spending and dismantling Obama's Affordable Care Act.

While Republicans have voted to stop passage of the Affordable Care Act forty-one times, burning health care cards and giving it try number forty-two, with a government shut down, should do the trick. And just in time for Halloween!

Or to quote Ayn Rand: Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all…etc.


Prepare for vote number 43.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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