Prince Philip admitted to The London Clinic For Abominable Diseases
London - A spokesperson for Queen Elizardbirth said tonight the Duke, 91, had come down with something nasty in the lower abdominal area after reading Hollywood actor Michael Douglas' recent intimate rant about 'walnut surgery'. [WTF? - 'Ed'] He w...
Read full storyApple annouces the iPhart portable lunch
California - Fresh from the fertile minds of Apple engineers, according to Apple spokesman Dick Mac Intush, the new portable iPhart lunches will be dispensed everywhere from new Apple vending machines. The new product offering includes: An appl...
Read full storyThe Latest Thing In Human Evolution - Interchangeable Body Parts
According to Genesis God made man out of the dust of the earth and woman out of Adam's rib - not an especially impressive start. But in the thousands of years since then things have changed and so have we humans. In Adam's and Eve's time they only needed to wear fig leaves to survive the environment until you -know -who came along. Nowadays one almost needs a suit of armor. What would it be li...
Read full storyRoi/Roy Hibbert Meets King James
Not a week ago, we castigated and disparaged Roy Hibbert of the Pacers for his foul mouth and foul game. That was then; this is now. His Indiana Pacers took the overbearing Heat to the rafters in a game seven. Then, they lost to the odds-on fav...
Read full storyRNC to Recall 103 Senate and House Members for Faulty Wiring in the Brain
WASHINGTON, D. C.- In advance of the 2014 midterm elections, the Republican National Committee is recalling 103 of its current Senate and House members because of faulty wiring in the speech center of their brains. Explained RNC Chairman Reince...
Read full storyChicharito Says Cheryl Cole Has The Sexiest Body He Has Ever Seen
LOS ANGELES - Chicharito, who is a native of Mexico, was in L.A. visiting his girlfriend Cheryl Cole. Cole was meeting with the entertainment mogul Simon Cowell about the possibility of her taking the place of Britney Spears at the X-Factor judges...
Read full storyTiger Woods Kicks Girlfriend Lindsey Vonn Into The Sand Trap
JUPITER ISLAND, Florida - Regarding the Tiger Woods - Lindsey Vonn relationship, it's like noted San Antonio sportscaster Dan Cook once said, "It ain't over till the fat lady sings." Well by all accounts the fat lady has sung and she's sitting in...
Read full storyArnold Schwarzenegger Willing To Take Maria Shriver Back On One Condition
LOS ANGELES - The former governor of the Left Coast state of California has not had much luck in his movie comeback nor in his marriage to Maria Shriver. The ex-body building champion who once held the title of The Strongest Man in The Entire Sola...
Read full storyCalifornia Taco Licker Fired Real 'Pronto'
RIDGECREST, California - A spokesperson for Taco Bell wants all of its patrons to know that the infamous Taco Licker, who licked 30 taco shells, has been fired and customers can once again feel comfortable and enjoy their tacos knowing that they have...
Read full storyWynonna Judd Is Proud of Her New Cookbook, "47 Ways To Prepare Cornbread"
NEW YORK CITY - Wynonna Judd traveled from her home in Tennessee to New York City to appear on Piers Morgan Tonight. The country singer talked about her recent appearance on Dancing With The Stars. Judd said that she was embarrassed to be the...
Read full storyParis Jackson Says She Hates Being A Jackson and Wants To Change Her Last Name
BEVERLY HILLS - Paris Jackson, the 15-year-old daughter of Michael Jackson, recently stated that she is sick and tired of having to live up to the Jackson name. The girl who was born Paris Michael Katherine Jackson told Glamboyant Magazine's Voodo...
Read full storyA Lot of Major League Baseball Players May Find Themselves Playing Down in Guatemala
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Strike two! And a lot of players in the Major Leagues could find themselves being suspended for 100 games. A spokesperson for MLB, Hoyt Huckaback told the sports media that this is a very serious situation and a lot of teams are...
Read full storyPaul McCartney Talks To Queen Elizabeth About Possibly Purchasing Buckingham Palace
NEW YORK CITY - Paul McCartney flew to the Big Apple to visit an old friend who was having uvula surgery at Brooklyn's Salvatore Goombalini General Hospital. As the former Beatle left Sal General he was approached by Pia Confetti with Celebrity Gl...
Read full storyLeBron James Says That He Is Going To Start Acting Like Kobe Bryant
MIAMI - It is no secret that there is no love lost between Miami Heat star LeBron James and Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant. The two are as different as two sides of a silver dollar except of course for the fact that both are black or African-...
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