Residents attack speed limit pans
Controversial proposals to reduce speeding by placing big metal frying pans on the roads in built-up areas have upset local residents in Chipping Norton. Ministry of Transport officials said that speed bumps were no longer effective in curbing spe...
Read full storyGingrich's Daughter's Prayer
Sounding like a prayer, two of Newt Gingrich daughters issued a statement following wife number two's revelation in a ABC Brian Ross interview: Newton Leroy wanted an open marriage and to continue his relationship with his mistress, Callista. The above fails to sound like a family values candidate of South Carolina. Hence, the daughters statement. Sort of sounding like: Our father, which...
Read full storyDinosaurs discovered in the Falklands
Prehistoric reptiles have been discovered roaming wild in the Falkland Islands, a UK government scientist announced today, to the great surprise of the zoological world. The dinosaurs include T-Rex's, Stegosauri, and other dangerous creatures once th...
Read full storyKill School Coming Soon to UK
Come 2015 there will be a rash of schools popping up all along the arse of England. Will the government provide the soothing lotion to combat this threat? No it seems the government is giving it's full backing (not to mention a fuck tonne of money) to see that military run "Kill Schools" for the most troubled youths will come to fruition. We tried to gain access to a military spokesman despite...
Read full storyWarning as container ship breaks wind
A stranded container ship has finally split in two off the coast of New Zealand. In a massive explosion last month, it spewed out more than 300 containers of baked beans and sprouts, leaving a trail of debris over three miles of shoreline. It is the...
Read full storyThe Spoof joins in internet protest over piracy
The Spoof's readers have been taking part in a protest against the US's new SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) legislation which is currently passing through the Senate. Other websites, such as Wikipedia, have taken themselves down for the day in order to...
Read full storyFooty fav pin-up, Imogen T. scared of silicone slip-up!
Over-loaded, footy fav pin-up girl (amongst other activities), Imogen T. (name altered for legal reasons, but you know who I mean) has been frightened "stiff" (now that takes some doing!). It seems that Imogen has a silicone slip-up job and that can...
Read full story"I Am Not A Cock Jockey!" Insists South Coast Burger Flipper
Devon burger flipper, Colin Snatch reacted angrily to reports that he may be a closet cock jockey, following criticism of his self-published manifesto, 'I'm Not Really Gay - I Just Like Wrestling!' Snatch, 49, the oldest burger flipper in Newton A...
Read full storyRoyal Boat Show
To coincide with the upcoming mass hysteria for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Boatshow during June hence, 'Atlas Editions' that well known publishing house responsible for churning out endless crap collectables is 'launching' a new weekly magazine.
Read full storyWorthing Folk Up In Arms Over Sunniest Place Accolade
Storm clouds are gathering over the normally genteel coast of East and West Sussex. The great and good of Eastbourne and Hastings are at eachother's throats over which resort can boast the title of 'sunniest place in the UK.' Eastbourne appear...
Read full storySchool For Big Nobs Tells Ramblers Where To Shove It
A top public school has upset its neighbours with plans to swap its nine-hole golf course for nearby land owned by the National Trust. But the choice of the new site for the Stowe School's course has angered nearby walkers and ramblers, who argue...
Read full story"Rihanna hits the cross trainer...wearing just a TINY white bikini" - DM Wins Piffle Prize Again
The Daily Mail has scooped todays Piffle Prize with yet another astonishingly meaningless headline. In fact, the above headline is merely an abridged version, edited to fit on Twitter. In all its gory glory, the headline reads: "That's not your no...
Read full storyPolitical Facebook - Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Newt Gingrich: Rick I am going to have to ask you to please refrain from mentioning my two ex-wives and the fact that I dumped them. My present wife Callista is upset and she is starting to get a little bit insecure. 11:20 a.m. Rick Perry: I'm sorry Newt, I do recall your first wife and your second wife but I cannot recall your third wife. 11:24 a.m. Newt Gingrich: Lo...
Read full storyPolitical Facebook - Michele Bachmann and Ron Paul
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Ron Paul: Hi Michele, the guys sure do miss your pretty smiling face at our GOP debates. I just thought I'd say hi and ask if you have forgiven me for saying that your stupid hairdo looks fake. 4:27 p.m. Michele Bachmann: Hi Ronnie, no I have not and I thought that I asked you to stop making entries into my Facebook account. I am still mad about the remark where you said...
Read full storyRomney's assets managed on "blind basis," candidate plans to manage U.S. economy in same fashion
CHARLESTON, Sc. - Sandra Andres, a spokeswoman for Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, wrote in an email to reporters that the Romneys' assets, which are estimated at $200 million, are managed on "a blind basis." To define this term, sh...
Read full storyDerek to meet Brown in 1 trillion dollar spectacular!
There have been some Classic fights over the years, such as Ali V's Frazer, Marvellous Marvin Haggler V's Thomas (the hitman) Hearns, and who can forget Chris (simply the best) Eubanks V's Nigel (the dark destroyer) Benn! Since those good old days gr...
Read full storyKodak to be Bailed Out by Chuck Norris
Following Chuck Norris's announcement that he will assume the Presidency in 2013, his financial advisors disclosed today that Mr. Norris will also take over the ailing Kodak Corporation in an apparent move to "Kick its butt back into shape". With...
Read full storyDerek Acorah to cameo on Coronation Street
World-famous superstar celebrity psychic, Derek Acorah, has been asked to appear in an episode of Coronation Street playing a world-famous superstar celebrity psychic called Eric D'Accora. "Derek is very excited," said Acorah's agent, Eric D'Accor...
Read full storyWahlberg: 'Regrets, I had few...'
Hollywood actor Mark Wahlberg has apologized for his "ridiculous" remarks concerning the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Wahlberg told a men's magazine that if he had been on one of the planes as intended he would have: 'kicked the ass' of the terrorists...
Read full storyQueen's reign will end 'much like Costa Concordia' stargazers warn
London - Belly-up predictions published today foresee a beached Prince of Wails and his Gorgon wife stand trial for treason on Tyburn Hill. Hellfire Club sibyls are pretty certain the Costa Concordia sinking is a true lodestar omen as far as celes...
Read full storyCellulite? There's an app for that
Coming straight out of Apple Core Labs and into an App Store near you is the latest in applelet based keep fit: iThigh. "I'm not a woman," said App World! editor Mac Buck. "I never have been. But I'm told that many woman detest cellulite. For year...
Read full storyDave will go dark for 24 hours in support of Wikipedia
The UK Freeview channel, Dave, is to go dark in support of Wikipedia, by broadcasting nothing but information on the anti-piracy bills currently under debate in the American Senate. "I know American laws shouldn't affect us," said channel co-ordin...
Read full storyChocolate Digestive Biscuits Can Aid In The Hunt For Serial Killers Says Local Man
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, today added his contribution to serial killer research by saying that chocolate digestive biscuits can be a fundamental element in the tracking down and apprehension of seriously disturbed serial killers. According t...
Read full storyMacclesfield Town striker Ben Mills shocked by pro set-up
Macclesfield striker Benjy Mills says he is shocked by the amount of free time he now has after turning professional. The 22-year-old joined from non-league side Nantwich Town last week and made his debut in the 2-1 defeat by Torquay. "It's cer...
Read full storyBeer and sex 'must be sold' at Brazil World Cup, says Fifa
Beer and sex must be sold at all venues hosting matches in the 2014 World Cup in Brazil, football's world governing body, Fifa, has insisted. Fifa General Secretary Jerome Valcke said the right to sell beer and sex must be enshrined in a World Cup...
Read full storyFacebook unveils 60 new ways to waste time under latest expansion plan
Facebook is adding a series of new applications to let users share such things as photos, travel or fashion. The online social network firm unveiled more than 60 new ways to waste time on Facebook. The company, tipped for a $100bn initial public o...
Read full storySupport wanes in US Congress for anti-piracy SOPA/PIPA bill
Eight US lawmakers have withdrawn their support for anti-piracy laws, after "blackout" protests on thousands of internet porn sites. Two of the bill's co-sponsors, Mario Mario from Florida and Billy Blunt from Missouri, are among those backing awa...
Read full storyShock as David Beckham signs new deal at LA Galaxy
The World of Sport was rocked to its very foundations when it was announced that David Beckham has signed a new two-year deal at LA Galaxy. Many thought that the football star wanted to return home to the UK as soon as possible with his wife Thin...
Read full storyTransfer Window: David Beckham extends LA Galaxy stay with new contract
David Beckham is to remain at LA Galaxy after signing a new two-year deal with the club. The former England captain, 36, had been linked with a move to Forest Green Rovers in the English non-league but decided to stay at the team he joined in 2007...
Read full storyFearne Cotton to join Radio Bore breakfast programme The Noday Show
Fearne Cotton, great-great-great-grand-great-daughter of veteran BBC boss Bilbo Cotton-Socks was today announced as the new presenter of the BBC radio bore brekky proggy, The Noday Show. It is thought 'aunty' removed 127 year old Humphrey Johns fr...
Read full storyRupert Murdoch and News International to launch new Sunday newspaper
After months of speculation it seems like the pip is finally out of the bag. Following the closure of the News of The World in July last year after the phone-hacking scandal, News International look set to press ahead with a replacement Sunday newspa...
Read full storyJesus Christ to join judging panel of TV talent show "Britain's got A Superstar"
ITV scored one over the BBC today when it announced that the son of God Jesus Christ will join their new Saturday night talent show "Britain's Got A Brand New Superstar" Mr Christ, 2012 of Nazareth, Israel said he was delighted to be joining the c...
Read full storyKonnie Huq to present new reality show for as yet unnamed tv channel
It was leaked on twitter and other social networks late last night that Konnie Huq is to present a new tv show called 'Konnie Kills Cowell' When pressed by journalists outside the Groucho club where she was enjoying a nightcap with hubby Charlie B...
Read full storyWikipedia Shutdown Boosts Student Library Visits
Libraries at UK universities struggled to keep up with demand yesterday as students turned to traditional methods of research. Young academics found they had to read books for information as online resource, Wikipedia, shut down for the day in pro...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Steven Tyler Finally Admits That It's True, He Has Dumped Kate Gosselin
SAVANNAH, Georgia - American Idol Judge Steven Tyler was in town to help judge the auditions of over 10,000 individuals who all insist that they will be the next American Idol. Tyler arrived in the city with the Southern belle's name in grand styl...
Read full storyBrian Cox In More Hot Water As Town Suffers Black-Out Crime Spree
TV space egghead Brian Cox is in more trouble today after a small west country town was devastated by a spate of burglaries last night. The crimes were committed during a town-wide black-out, co-ordinated as part of Cox's three-night BBC2 astronom...
Read full storyRick Perry Reveals What Role "Old Sparky" The Electric Chair Will Play In His Presidency
COTTON BALLS, South Carolina - Rick Perry's "Good Old Boy Bus Tour" pulled into the history-rich town of Cotton Balls, South Carolina. The town is noted for being the place where back on March 13, 1863, a regiment of Confederate cavalrymen led by...
Read full storyPrehistoric Peruvians Popped Popcorn
Archaeologists have discovered that an ancient Peruvian tribe living along the Pacific coast was munching on popcorn thousands of years ago. The discovery was made last Thursday by Sir Percival Blick of the British Museum when he raped and pillage...
Read full storyKhloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Want To Adopt The E-Trade Baby
DALLAS - The past few months have not been very good for the tallest of the Kardashian sisters, 5-foot-10-inch Khloe, and her husband Dallas Mavericks player Lamar Odom. First in early December Lamar was suddenly traded from the Los Angeles Lakers...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Kicks Off Season 11 With 10,000 Hopefuls in Savannah, Georgia
SAVANNAH, Georgia - Season 11 of American Idol kicked off in the Southern city of Savannah, Georgia. The town nestled on the South Carolina border is noted for its delicious tasting peaches, it deliciously lovely Southern belles, and for being the...
Read full storyTV Chef Antony Worrall Thompson hires PI
TV Chef Antony Worrall Thompson a star chef on Ready Steady Cook, former I'm a Celebrity get me out of Here contestant and Tesco shoplifter has been trying to get to the bottom of his shoplifting spree. He has said that he will do all in his power...
Read full storyThe Adventure Of The Missing Christmas Goose Pt V; A Festive Shylock Humes Mystery
My friend Shylock Humes, Inspector Stanley Livingstone-Stanley and I were jogging through the suburbs of Norwood in a London growler, bound, as we thought, for the villa of Colonel Clavicord, late of the Bengal Dancers, who was there hosting the Annual Convention of Not Quite Correct Things, for there it was, according to Humes, that we should, at last, attain the longed-for denouement of the Adve...
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