Gingrich's Daughter's Prayer

Written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 19 January 2012


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Gingrich's Daughter's Prayer

Sounding like a prayer, two of Newt Gingrich daughters issued a statement following wife number two's revelation in a ABC Brian Ross interview: Newton Leroy wanted an open marriage and to continue his relationship with his mistress, Callista.

The above fails to sound like a family values candidate of South Carolina. Hence, the daughters statement.

Sort of sounding like:

Our father, which art in South Carolina, President be his name. His White House come, his will be done on earth, (at the voting booth) as it will be done in November. Give on election day your vote, and forgive him his trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against him, (specifically the wicked, scorned, evil stepmother and ex-wife) and lead us not into temptation, delivering him to beat Obama and get us to the White House in November.


Apparently, the girls know which side of their bread has the Nutella.

Ric Perry doesn't appear to have any prayers left and is out of the race. Jon Huntsman already said, "Zai jian."

Willard Romney is dancing around: tax returns, offshore bank accounts in the Cayman Islands, miserable $300,000 speaking fees, big spender $10,000 bets, defense that, "corporations are people too, my friend", his polygamous great-grandfather with five wives living in Mexico, (didn't Ric Santorum equate polygamy with same sex marriage?) his dog Shamus caged on top of a station wagon for a ten hour drive, and deliver him from the evil of being a profiteering corporate raider.


By comparison, Romney makes Newt Gingrich appear to be a choir boy.

A good description of a corporate raider can be viewed in the 1991 film, Other People's Money, starring Danny DeVito, (in a Mitt Romney role) who is nicknamed, "Larry the Liquidater". Gregory Peck is Andrew Jorgenson, owner of New England Wire and Cable, and about to lose his company to Danny DeVito. Other People's Money, is a film having a good insight to corporate takeovers.

While Mitt Romney may be the sum of all of his controversies, as Danny DeVito said following an impassioned speech by Gregory Peck, "Amen."


Read more by this author:

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more