Worthing Folk Up In Arms Over Sunniest Place Accolade

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Thursday, 19 January 2012

image for Worthing Folk Up In Arms Over Sunniest Place Accolade
Worthing's famous Alf Starling - a veteran of the best iced bun wars.

Storm clouds are gathering over the normally genteel coast of East and West Sussex.

The great and good of Eastbourne and Hastings are at eachother's throats over which resort can boast the title of 'sunniest place in the UK.'

Eastbourne appeared to have secured the accolade after The Daily Telegraph announced that the retirement haven enjoyed 1,962 hours of sunshine last year.

But Hastings immediately countered with figures that showed the sun shone there for 2,010 hours in 2011.

"They're neither of 'em worth visiting - rain or shine," said Worthing pensioner George Cruikshank, 87, who is no relation to the celebrated caricaturist and illustrator of Dickens novels.

"But it's just typical of them as lives in East Sussex, always trying to lord it over is here in West Sussex. Everyone know it's sunnier here - it's west, innit, so the sun sets later, dunnit?"

Mr Cruikshank added that he and a few colleagues planned to travel to the two towns to "set things straight."

"Yeah, we're getting a chara organised and me and Alf Starling and a few of the lads - some of the girls are gonna tag along too - are gonna show 'em what's what.

"It's good to clear out the bad blood from time to time. Should be a right old barney - could be as good as the 'best iced buns wars' of '73 and '74!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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