Rihanna and Kim 'Do The Lakers'
Though she was in exclusive LA where the show was aired live, Rihanna did not appear at the 2012 People's Choice Awards held at the Nokia Theater in LA. Very shocking, indeed! She chose instead to sit court-side at the Miami Heat vs. LA Lakers game...
Read full storyStudy shows people to be "less amazing" than previously thought
A recent study by the University of Wisconsin shows that the term "amazing" when used to describe others may be less accurate than believed. The researchers came to this conclusion after following the lives of dozens of girlfriends, boyfriends,...
Read full storyPop star backs Fulham plans to increase Craven Cottage capacity
Pop star and erratic driver George 'Greekius' Michalos today backed plans for London football club Fulham to increase the capacity to their stadium. "I love it. I'm always up for a bit of the cottaging. Especially on Saturday afternoon when the gr...
Read full storyLabour leader called 'ugly' by radio presenter
Labour party leader Ed Millipede was today called 'pug ugly' by presenter Humphrey Johns on the Noday show on Radio Bore. Millipede has struggled to win approval in opinion polls recently, gaining only 20% in mori polls, less than deputy clown min...
Read full storyDiane Abbott told off for 'Divide and Ruler' comments
A school teacher came forward today to claim that Diane Abbott made a controversial remark when he was her school teacher. Alf Starling, now a retired headmaster, used to teach Diane Abbott when she was a child growing up in Worthing. But her scho...
Read full storyThe Owner of The Jacksonville Jaguars Goes Ballistic and Viciously Lashes Out At The Fans of His Team
JACKSONVILLE, Florida - Well it appears that Billy Graham, the Pope, and Gloria Allred together could not do the damage control to undo the tremendous mess that the owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars has just created for himself and his team. Jacks...
Read full storyFish Attack!
A young fisherman in Bolivia committed suicide in the most awesome distressing way yesterday. He took his trusty two man boat (the SS Clinically Depressed) out onto a stretch of river that was known locally as "Wie sobberus do solim goeous" which rou...
Read full storyDuchess of York faces 22 years in Turkish slammer
Ankara - Turkish authorities have decided to charge Sarah Ferguson with gross voyeurism for her illicit filming of orphan minors. The offence carries a maximum of 22 years on conviction - roughly the same time she's been divorced from Prince Andre...
Read full storyParis Hilton's Startling Announcement: "I Am Giving Up Sex"
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Paris Hilton has made a startling confession to one of her very best friends Christina Aguilera. The two were recently having lunch at The Fiery Tongue of The Dragon Chinese Restaurant in West Hollywood when Paris suddenly became...
Read full storyBerwick To Save Scottish Soccer Status
Berwick Rangers, concerned about their uncertain footballing status after the proposed Scottish secession from the United Kingdom in 2014, have bought their Glaswegian namesake Rangers in a blockbuster £4,233.54 deal in a bid to safeguard their conti...
Read full storyLos Angeles Lakers Player Luke Walton Appears To Be Heading To The Washington Wizards
LOS ANGELES - In a move that many Los Angeles Laker fans knew was coming, Sports Territory Magazine is reporting that the Lakers may be trading the 31-year-old, 6-foot-8-inch Luke Walton. The Lakers management stated that they are currently in ta...
Read full storyM&S staff obviously enjoy a bit of S&M too according to their naked calendar!
M&S female staff ( for our American and international readers; M&S is Marks & Spencers) who have posed naked for a calendar have certainly proven that they are also quite fond of a bit of S&M (for our American and international reader...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Reveal Their Amazing New Years Resolution
SANTA MONICA, California - One of the happiest young couples in America was spotted walking hand-in-hand on the famed Santa Monica Pier. Singing sensations Justin Bieber, 17, and his girlfriend Selena Gomez, 19, were seen feeding each other some p...
Read full storyPalace old guard denied Madonna access to definitive Duchess book
Los Angeles - A Hollywood source claimed today Madonna was deliberately thwarted 'on copyright grounds' from having so much as a sneak peek at historical archives about the Duchess. "Someone in Windsor Castle is still pretty freaked out," royal co...
Read full storyKate Middleton to become a Scouser for new reality show
The Duchess of Cambridge is to become a volunteer helper at her local scouse group as part of a new package of royal patronages. Kate will wear the Scouse Association's distinctive red luis suarez t-shirt, scarf and famous 1980s permed wig as she...
Read full storyBritney Spears Says Her Goal For 2012 Is To Look Like The Ultra Skinny LeAnn Rimes
NEW ORLEANS - Britney Spears and her boyfriend Jason Trawick flew down to the Big Easy for some much needed rest and relaxation after she finished her Femme Fatale Al Fresco Concert Tour. Spears recently spoke with Left Coast Mirror Magazine and s...
Read full storyIsle of Wight Independence Referendum
The First Minister of the Isle of Wight National Party has called for a vote on Independence of the island from the rest of Britain. Ministers in London were concerned that the example might be followed by others with the Isle of Man restless for cha...
Read full storyJohn Terry to move back into Barking council house
The mysterious finances of Chelsea skipper John Terry took another twist last night when he and his family moved back to the area where he was born - straight into a four bed council house. The 'stun' newspaper revealed he remortgaged his home in...
Read full story'Queen back on 60-a-day' as SNP vows to dump tarnished Windsor brand
Sandringham - The Palace has denied it's roll-ups that she's smoking as a new consignment of duty free Superkings arrived at the Norfolk mansion today. They are blaming her distaff side little bastard Alex Salmond for stoking the fires of republic...
Read full storyDisney Empire buys Guantanamo Bay
Today marks the 10th anniversary of the opening of the U.S. military detention camp for terrorist suspects at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba; it is also the day that the Disney Empire beat off competition to purchase the camp. Disney h...
Read full storyNASA Boffins Tell Optimistic Inventor To Put Device "Where The Sun Don't Shine"
Local inventor, Sid Shelf, is looking forward to fame and fortune following a meeting to discuss his latest device with space boffins in California. As we reported yesterday, Mr Shelf took his "Space Scrubber" to show NASA scientists at the Jet Pr...
Read full storyTories announce High Speed Ozzi-Tunnel
Transport Minister Justine Greening, apparently encouraged by the public's apathy to her financial excesses of HS2, has announced her next project; the High-Speed Australia link, or 'Ozzi-Tunnel' as it is commonly known. This will cut journey times b...
Read full story"Has bikini girl Cameron Diaz had a secret boob job?" - DM Scoops Piffle Prize For Second Day Running
The Daily Mail scooped the not very prestigious Piffle Prize for the second day running, with the absolutely not news of any description headline, as seen above. Not surprisingly, the 'story' first appeared in the National Enquirer, and even featu...
Read full storyScott Walker creates jobs for ghosts at shuttered GM plant
Madison, Wis--Scott Walker's is big on creating jobs, so big on creating jobs that he created jobs for ghosts at a shutter GM plant in Janesville, WI. "I said I was going to created 250,000 jobs in Wisconsin by 2015, but I didn't say that they we...
Read full storyA few questions for Mr Cameron - from an aged citizen!
We have granted a decrepit, impecunious, impetigo suffering Nottingham gentleman, 65, space to ask his questions of the Prime Minister, millionaire, Etonaian, nepotist, apanthropinisation sufferer, and Prime Minister of the UK David Cameron. Question One: Re: NHS Q: Are You bothered at all? a) That unqualified carers are doing nurse's job's including taking blood samples, reviving patients a...
Read full storyRiot at Nottingham's Parliament Street Jobcentre Plus!
There was panic in Nottingham city centre this morning, when it was mistakenly published in the 'Free paper', that the Jobcentre Plus on Parliament Street had got 333 new jobs just come in, in error for 3 new jobs. As soon as the crowd rushed the...
Read full storyThe Reason Why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Want To Adopt X-Factor's Rachel Crow and Drew Ryniewicz
NEW YORK CITY - Brad Pitt was all smiles as he won the Best Actor Award at the 77th New York Film Critics Circle Award Gala for his portrayal of Billy Beane in the baseball film Moneyball. Pitt who was hobbling and walking with the aid of a $7,298...
Read full storyRon Paul Says He Has Some Interesting Photos That Will Prevent Mitt Romney From Winning The GOP Presidential Nomination
PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island - Ron Paul still excited from placing second in the New Hampshire Caucus was all smiles as he celebrated with his wife and campaign team at the local Princess Pawtucket Pizza Parlor. As Ron sat at a booth with his wife of 5...
Read full storyI'm writing!
I'm writing a self-help book about the power of positive thinking but it really sucks and I doubt anyone will ever read it. I'm writing tons of fan mail to people without air-conditioners. I'm quite upset with myself because I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. I'm writing down some pranks I want to pull. I'll call it my do to list. I'm writing a poem about determinism. It was...
Read full storyWarren Beatty's Daughter Who Is A Transgender Guy Has Fallen For A Straight Guy Or Is He A Gay Guy?
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Noted actor Warren Beatty talking about his biological daughter Kathlyn, 20, who now is known as Stephen Ira Beatty, says that he has not been this confused since back in 1990, when he was dating that flaky, fruit cup Madonna. The...
Read full storyA painful exchange
She: My god, this migraine is killing me. He: Hmm, yeah, I suppose so. She: You don't seem very sympathetic. He: Well, I'm sure it's bad, but it's nothing compared to childbirth. She: And you should know? He: Of course, I was, after all, a vaginal birth. She: Excuse me? He: Now you don't seem very sympathetic. She: Sympathy for your mother? What does that h...
Read full storyQPR to punish non-mourners and send them to North Korea.
The QPR authorities are to sentence anyone who has not participated in mourning sessions for deposed leader Neil Warnock to terms in North Korean labour camps, reported the Shepherd's Bush Gazette. The decision to hand out punishments of at least...
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