The Owner of The Jacksonville Jaguars Goes Ballistic and Viciously Lashes Out At The Fans of His Team

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 12 January 2012

image for The Owner of The Jacksonville Jaguars Goes Ballistic and Viciously Lashes Out At The Fans of His Team
This may be what a Jacksonville home game looks like next season.

JACKSONVILLE, Florida - Well it appears that Billy Graham, the Pope, and Gloria Allred together could not do the damage control to undo the tremendous mess that the owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars has just created for himself and his team.

Jacksonville owner Shahid Ali Baba Badda Bing Khan, who looks a lot like the Reverend Al Sharpton except for his silly ass looking Rollie Fingers moustache, has caused more of an upheaval in the citrus state than 1992s category 5 Hurricane Andrew did.

Mr. Khan, recently remarked to Oglethorpe Ogletree with Sports Territory Magazine, that he does not like fans who are not season ticket holders.

He stated that season ticket holders are usually quite rich and they do not mind paying the exorbitant ticket prices, the extravagant parking prices, the outrageous beer prices, the excessive hot dog prices, and the astounding bathroom use prices.

Khan went on to angrily lash out at the non-season ticket holders who he said spend more time at the games complaining about the cost of friggin peanuts and effen Twizzlers than they do actually watching the game and cheering for the Jaguars.

The Jaguars owner, a native of Pakistan, came to America and settled in Chicago where he amassed his fortune in the dancing pole manufacturing business.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The Jacksonville Jaguars finished the season at 5-11 so in the defense of the fans, that really isn't much to cheer about. So a lackadaisical rah rah rah and a spiritless sis boom bah SHA-HID!.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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