Michele Bachmann Said The Rumors About Her And Ron Paul Making Out Are False - Ron Paul Commented "No Comment"
MUNCIE, Indiana - Michele Bachmann's Hair Spray Across America Bus Tour pulled into Muncie where she spoke in the parking lot of a Pompous Pizza Parlor. Bachmann was asked by GOPicky Magazine how she felt she did in the last GOP debate. She giggle...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Twenty-one
A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and poverty, starting in August 1947 For three years, I actually took a proper holiday away, fishing with three mates from the Robin Hood Angling Club - Bill Bates, and Jock Kirkpatrick, and Mad Ken. Here's how they went: Chapter 37 - The Angling Holidays - Number 1 - Lockerbie We'd rented a cottage in Lockerbie for...
Read full storyRetro vs Current Headlines and Signs
Sent by the senile pensioner who just will not stop sending this rubbish in. 1954: Average House prices now up to £1.900.00 2011: Average house prices fall to £228,095.00 1946: Cost of a Ford Anglia rises to a staggering £293.00 2011: Cost of a Ford Fiesta now from £9,495.00 1954: Her Royal Majesty the Queens estimated worth now £15,000,000 2011: Her Royal Majesty the Queens estimated...
Read full storyVampire Shuns Tradition to Become a Vegan
Liquoreville, Montana Vampire, Jerry Done-Drinking has recently announced that he has forgone the traditional practice of drinking blood to become a vegan. Apparently, the town of Liquoreville, which residents have accumulated the most DWI's per c...
Read full storyForgotten Elvis Song Becomes Anthem for the Occupy Wall Street Movment
Memphis - A small group camping outside of Graceland, supporting the Occupy Memphis protest, was shocked when a limousine pulled up and womans hand holding a cd emerged. Goldie Bolton took the cd and handed it to a member of their group to play in th...
Read full storyBroadband to Common?
MPs from all parties are arguing about whether broadband should be allowed in the House of Commons. Most MPs aren't really sure if they want it or not. "Some of the Members of Parliament just go on and on, I mean do we need to know how much dog...
Read full storyHas your pilot just died? There's an app for that
For those people who are on an aeroplane who hear the announcement asking if anybody on board can fly a plane due the unexpected death of the pilot, there is now a new applelet from MiApps. "This app could save your life," said App World editor, M...
Read full storyLocal Woman Recalls Naked In The Shower Hot Air Balloon Incident
Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, wife of disgraced alcoholic internet rambler, Martin, today recalled an incident from her murky past, to the Titchfield Women's Support Coalition, and was greeted by gasps of abject horror, from her audience of middle E...
Read full storyDr Fox resigns, Richard Hammond to replace him
Magic FM Dj Neil "Foxy" Fox has been forced to resign from his job as Defence Secretary today amid allegations about his inappropriate relationship with friend and advisor Verity Adam. Prime Minister David Cameroon acted quickly to appoint a replacem...
Read full storyHonours Even In Anfield Showdown - Gerrard And Chicharito Shine - Liverpool Fans Win Chant Of The Day
Liverpool and Manchester United scrapped out a hard fought draw today at Anfield. Gerrard put the home team ahead with a fluffed free kick which somehow squirmed through a broken defensive wall. With ten minutes left on the clock, Javier 'Chicharito'...
Read full storyGrand Theft Banker online game takes World #1 spot
In just 2 months since its release by Bankrupt America Online, the game Grand Theft Banker has become the most played online game on the planet. The game randomly simulates the payment of massive bonuses to senior bankers and floor traders in retu...
Read full storyPerry reveals 9-1-1 plan, says it's just what a country in crisis needs
HARFOLD, Vt.--Donning a hardhat and speaking to 27 workers at the Harfold Tool & Die, presidential candidate Rick Perry introduced his latest plan to save the nation, the 9-1-1 plan. The plan calls for the drilling for oil in most every unexpl...
Read full storyDC Haunted House Infested with Democrats and Republicans shut down! Way too F*cking Scary!
A DC haunted house that was set up for Halloween amusement by a rare joint venture by both the Democrats and Republicans was shut down before the first night even ended! The venue of the haunted house, as well as all information pertaining to it...
Read full storyHerman Cain challenges Barack Obama to a One-on-One Basketball Game
WASHINGTON DC - In an unprecedented political gesture, Republican primary contender Herman Cain did for the first time what no one has ever done in the history of American presidency, he challenged Barack Obama to a one-on-one basketball game. Wh...
Read full storySasha Obama's Annual Flu Shot Goes Wrong and Blames Joe Biden
WASHINGTON DC - On Friday afternoon, Vice President Joe Biden, also known to Obama's children as Uncle Joe, was the only person available to take the Obama girls to their pediatric appointments. In fact, 'Uncle Joe' usually takes the girls becaus...
Read full storyMexican Druglords Now Accepting Gift Cards as Cash
MEXICO CITY - Mexican drug kingpins have released a statement through their Twitter accounts stating that they are now accepting gift cards as cash. Police were disoriented when they first heard about their business methods. The police commission...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres to yell all next week at her staff in homage to Steve Jobs
BURBANK, CA - Many of the staff members at the Ellen DeGeneres Show had been dismayed the last couple weeks ever since Steve Jobs passed away. One guest from the show told us that Ellen was equally distraught, "It was noticeable especially in Ell...
Read full storyWill Ferrell Spotted Crashing a Pet Funeral with Owen Wilson
BOSTON - News broke immediately when Will Ferrell and Owen Wilson were spotted crashing a pet funeral by paparazzi yesterday. TMZ reporters were the first to reach the scene and snapped as many mug shot looking photos as possible. There were many...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Reveals That He Has A Tremendous Crush On Jennifer Lopez
MANHATTAN - Brad Pitt recently flew from his home in Provence, France to New York City to meet with a realtor about purchasing some land in Colorado. Pitt, whose baseball movie Moneyball is currently ranked at number four was interviewed by Cahoot...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Denies That She And Ex-Boyfriend Tony Romo Are Secretly Sexting
DALLAS - Jessica Simpson was recently spotted in Dallas causing speculation that she may be trying to have a little meeting with her ex-boyfriend Tony "Oops" Romo. Romo who is married has really been feeling badly lately due to the fact that his q...
Read full storyABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky
HOLLYWOOD - The list of the new television season's cancelled shows continues to grow as yet another one gets added to the list of television losers. After only airing four episodes ABC has pulled the plug on Charlie's Angels a show which network...
Read full storyBanker with a conscience and heart discovered and buried
After 20 years of exploration by an international team of forensic anthropologists, a member of the banking industry has been discovered who had a conscience and beating heart. Team leader Digby Digdembones spoke from his cave in Cornwall UK today...
Read full storyDorking Review 'Safe' From Establishmment Threat In Publishing War
Top publishing figures threw their weight behind the bookshop phenomenon that has captured the public's imagination as a potential rival for the Christmas market was launched. The tremendously popular The Dorking Review has come under attack in th...
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