Perry reveals 9-1-1 plan, says it's just what a country in crisis needs

Written by Lyndon

Saturday, 15 October 2011

image for Perry reveals 9-1-1 plan, says it's just what a country in crisis needs
Perry says that a rig like this could be erected in 2 weeks off the coast of Maine by outsourced labor for less than $75,000.

HARFOLD, Vt.--Donning a hardhat and speaking to 27 workers at the Harfold Tool & Die, presidential candidate Rick Perry introduced his latest plan to save the nation, the 9-1-1 plan.

The plan calls for the drilling for oil in most every unexplored region of the the U.S. and the world including any non-populated area in Alaska, Michigan, and Vermont; the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge; the Bay of Fundy; San Francisco Bay; and Chesapeake Bay; and expanding oil production in the Gulf of Mexico, Gulf of Farallones, and Gulf of Maine.

With a tag line "You got to drill it if you want to spill it," Perry claims that his 9-1-1 plan will create upwards of 32 million jobs, although he concedes that some 31.5 million of those jobs will come in the form of outsourced labor.

Said former Utah governor Jon Huntsman about Perry's plan, "It's a catchy phrase without a doubt, but it reminds me more of a major oil tanker disaster than a jobs plan."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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