Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, wife of disgraced alcoholic internet rambler, Martin, today recalled an incident from her murky past, to the Titchfield Women's Support Coalition, and was greeted by gasps of abject horror, from her audience of middle Englanders.
It appears that Anne Shuttlecock, who in a previous incarnation was known as Mary Shuttlecock, after marrying first husband, George Shuttlecock - she seems to have a thing about Shuttlecocks - was once taking a shower, utterly naked, when she was disturbed.
In a most unseemly fashion.
Anne related to the Titchfield Women's Support Coalition how she'd wrapped up a night shift at the local crisp factory, and had gone to take a shower in order to wash off a thin film of cheese and onion food flavouring when the most unusual event occurred.
Anne herself takes up the story:
"I was quite naked in the shower, giving myself a bit of a soaping up, but not in a male fantasist way - just trying to soap off the cheese and onion flavouring, when I heard this WHOOSH! I wondered what the heck it was. And then WHOOSH! again. Followed by another WHOOSH! I was wondering what it could be, when this bloke appeared in the window. In a basket. Pulling a chain type pull, which was causing the WHOOSH! sound. I wondered what the heck was going on - I mean, it isn't every day one finds oneself stark naked in the shower being gawked at by some bloke outside in a basket, pulling a chain and making WHOOSH! noises."
It transpired, that the bloke who appeared in Anne's window, was the pilot of a hot air ballon in difficulty. Which kind of explains the WHOOSH! bit, as he tugged on the balloon's burner.
Anne related that the hot air balloon crash landed nearby a short time later.
She remarked: "I've never heard a 'heavy breather' that loud before. And I've heard my share of them. Still, he was the lucky one. He got to see me naked through the bathroom window. Shame about the balloon crash landing. I heard the basket was well fucked."
WHOOSH!
More as we get it.
