It's Official: First Dog is Now Mike Hunt
Bo, the Obama's two year old Portuguese Water Dog, has a new moniker. The energetic first dog, known for its dense thatch of wiry black hair, is now Mike Hunt. When asked what precipitated the name change, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney e...
Read full storyMadoff fraud impacts investors worldwide, but not pissed-off Harfold investor
HARFOLD, Vt.--Harfold resident Bertram Cooke has lost thousands of dollars in the stock market's free-fall that started last week. In all, the Dow Jones Industrial Average has lost about 7% in five business days. However, Cooke is livid that he wa...
Read full storyFIFA want to introduce politically correct chants
Keen to show he is as Politically Correct as the head of any other organisation, FIFA President, Sepp Blatter, has asked that supporters associations for football clubs across the UK to adopt politically correct chants. "We wish to cut out the swe...
Read full storySuper Committee Has Spent Most of it's Time Playing Monopoly
Washington,D.C.-With the deadline drawing nigh there was one thing on the mind of Democrats on the so called "Super Committee": how to dig out of the financial hole they made for themselves playing Monopoly. Lead by Congressman Paul Ryan,(Reforme...
Read full storyWisconsin Man Sends Limburger Stuffed Turkey to U.S. Congress
Shortly after a 21 pound, limburger cheese-stuffed turkey was delivered, still steaming to the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives, a Wisconsin man who was initially identified to the press as "the terrorist", was arrested and is held without...
Read full storyWayne Rooney Questioned About Joining Big Money Spending Russian Outfit, replies 'Who the f***ing hell are they?'
We caught up with Wayne Rooney yesterday, shopping alone on the Manc high street. We initially saw him hiding under a Nike hoodie 37 sizes to small for him (looked like something that'd fit his son Kai), emerging from Bobbers, a hair salon. We shouted his name to try and let onto him. 'Shrek, Shrek!' we screamed. He turned around, saw us, and ran away as quick as he would after looking in...
Read full storyRussia threaten to "nuke" Europe if the US builds a Disney Park in Poland!
Russia have sent out a warning to the US and President Obama that if they build a Disney Park in Eastern Poland they will "nuke" Europe. President Medvedev declared; "I can take US military bases and nuclear rockets in Poland but having Mickey Mo...
Read full storyPresidential Lottery to Replace Elections: May the Best Bet Win
Washington, DC - Americans are betting that they can select a better president by chance than by choice. The presidential elections, which were scheduled for next November, have been replaced by the nation's first Presidential Lottery. The new rul...
Read full storyEx-Penn State Football Coach Jerry Sandusky Emailed Officer John 'Pepper Spray' Pike Saying "Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!"
UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - Members of the news media are reporting that for the first time in over a week, the former defensive coach of Penn State University Jerry Sandusky has managed to smile. According to Sports Territory Magazine Sandusk...
Read full storyGovernment Support for Rioters
In a surprise move David Cameron announced the Coalition Government's support for rioters at St Paul's Cathedral. A Government statement announced 'full support for those who show their anger at the regime and have only their right to demonstrati...
Read full storySeats And Turnstiles Not Big Enough At Olympic Stadium For Today's Fatties!
Several thousand of the seats already fitted in the various stadiums at East London's Olympic Village will have to be taken out and replaced with reinforced ones. The decision to change the seats has been taken because of concerns raised by Health an...
Read full storyOxford Dictionary Boffins Told To Go Back To school
Boffins in charge of the English language have been told to go back to school in a row over their choice of Word of the Year for 2011. 'Squeezed middle' was chosen ahead of "Arab spring' and 'phone hacking' for the accolade by Oxford Dictionaries.
Read full story'Mayday! Mayday!' Phobos-Grunt probe signal traced to bottom of Japan Trench
Pacific Ocean - A distress signal from Russia's hapless Mars probe has finally been traced to the bottom of the Ocean slap bang in the middle of the Pacific Ring of Fire. Faint bleeping was picked up late last night by the European Space Agency's...
Read full storyObedient Husbands Club opens in London
London - A group supporting polyandry which urges husbands to 'act like toy boys' in the bedroom has opened its London base. The Obedient Husbands Club schools males in subservient behaviour towards their spouses - who are encouraged to take multi...
Read full storyEC's Latest Water Declaration - It's Good For You!
Following last week's decision that water does not prevent dehydration, EC mandarins now reckon it's good for you! Adam's ale has been at the forefront of the European Food Standards Authority's (EFSA) minds lately. They were roundly ridiculed...
Read full storyNottingham themed Cheap Foods to be opened by Christmas!
Nottingham Company Costwise Diet Foods, introduced its new range of Locally produced menu courses, hopefully to be available for Christmas. The new meals are designed to be the most economical, and nourishing available. We spoke with the owner,...
Read full storyMan Utd get stung by Portuguese Man-of-War!
Stottering Man United got heavily stung swimming in dangerous seas last night by a Portuguese "Man-of-war". Benfica run rings around United leaving their deadly tentacles stinging all over the pitch. United must now travel to Basel and hope that they...
Read full storyGerman Protest Movement Grows
As the European debt crisis worsens and Germany faces growing calls to increase its contribution to 'bail out' funds and to return gold bullion stolen from Greece in 1941, there is a growing tide of anger and resentment amongst German people. The...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: J.R. Martinez Defeats Rob Kardashian To Take The DWTS Championship
HOLLYWOOD - The coveted Dancing With The Stars Mirror Ball Trophy came very close to sitting in the living room of Rob Kardashian's mom's house. But instead it will become a part of J.R. Martinez's home who along with his dance partner Karina Smir...
Read full storyNaomi Campbell Says She Wants To Adopt X-Factor's Little Hip Hop Rapper Astro
NEW YORK CITY - Naomi Campbell, known as "The Undisputed Queen of Mean" stated that she would like to adopt Astro, the little, arrogant rap singer on X-Factor. Campbell, who has one of the worst attitudes of anyone in the Northern Hemisphere told...
Read full storyNBA Strike Precipitated the Various Occupy City Protests
Washington DC: The US Department of Labor has indicated that the National Basketball Association (NBA) players strike and the various occupy city protests being staged across the USA appear to be related. There was a collapse of negotiations betwe...
Read full storyBritons Not Pleased with New Note
Most Britons were agitated today as they learned that the Bank of England issued a new fifty-pound note. In the height of the worst recession in history the government decided that this would be a great idea to unify Britons and prepare for the 201...
Read full storyThanksgiving Eclipse heralds stunning winter skies...but will it save Obama's ass?
Washington - Cosmic wizardry is at work for Capitol Hill's very own Salvator Mundi skywatch sources claimed today. Thanksgiving sees a brilliant eclipsed new moon with powerful angles to Great Awakener Uranus, a stationary/retrograde Mercury and a...
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