Written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

image for Man Utd get stung by Portuguese Man-of-War!
Plenty of these stinging Man United last night turning them into a team of "dead squids"!

Stottering Man United got heavily stung swimming in dangerous seas last night by a Portuguese "Man-of-war". Benfica run rings around United leaving their deadly tentacles stinging all over the pitch. United must now travel to Basel and hope that they don't sink after being stung all night.

Instead of a comfortable evening enjoying the wonderful views of the Swiss mountains they will hope they have enough climbing gear with them to conquer the peaks of a Toblerone and don't get their expensive feet stuck in the toffee.

United must shoot more holes in this slab of Swiss cheese than their opponents from yesterday who only have to play a team of Dracula worshippers and they only play decent under a full moon.

Sir Alex and his United are a bunch of second class, miserable multi-millionaires, who blame everybody but themselves for their very poor show in a very poor group. Why was Berbatov playing he should have been booted out the door alongside Owen years ago?

Now Utd could face Barcelona, supreme Real Madrid, Bayern Munich or even pathetic Inter Milan (Wesley are you still there?), let's hope United achieve their goal because that's the only thing they can achieve.

Maybe a year in Europa League will wake Sir Alex up from his self-made nightmare and the final; English pride: Man Utd v Man City Olé!!!!!!!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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