Am A Drama Ding Dong! As Cuts Bite Deep At The BBC

Funny story written by Duff

Monday, 23 May 2011

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BBC Cuts biting ever deeper.

The cuts are biting harder and deeper and nowhere is it being felt more acutely than at that bastion of British broadcasting, The BBC.

Budgets have been trimmed back so much that the corporation is having to plumb even further depths to get show to our screens; and if you thought it couldn't get any worse than the abysmally dire Don't Scare The Hare, then think again!

In a new initiative the world renowned Drama Department has been disbanded and any new drama offerings will be provided by amateur dramatic companies from in and around the Home Counties.

A tearful James Nesbitt was said to be distraught last night and a source close to the Cold Feet star told the press, "Jimmy's gutted. After having gotten away with riding the gravy train for so long he just doesn't know what he's going to do now."

It's understood that the Beeb's first offering to be broadcast under the new regime, next Saturday at nine prime-time, will be a production of the Lloyd-Webber and Rice evergreen, Joseph, performed by St Michael's Anglican Church Strolling Players, from Watford in Hertfordshire. In a desperate attempt to bolster ratings, and in a novel twist, the public will be asked to phone in at the conclusion of the performance to vote on who was the worst cast member. The player who comes bottom of the poll will then be strapped to a table and given 50 lashes with a cat o' nine tails before being thrown off the set.

Critics will doubtless, even now, be loading their pens with poison in preparation for the reviews in the Sundays. All indications seem to point to carnage, and the Actors' Union (TUC) is holding its breath to see how it will all pan out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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