O'Bama Meets Ireland's Prominent Business and Social Leaders

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 23 May 2011

image for O'Bama Meets Ireland's Prominent Business and Social Leaders
Fitzpatrick's Rainbow was quite large.

After U.S. President Obama met with Ireland's political leadership, he made it a point to branch out into the countryside and meet business and social leaders in and around the town of Moneygall, where one of his Irish ancestors came from.

First on his agenda, was a meeting with the grandson of the inventor who created the exterior lounge chair. Paddy O'Furnicher provided President Obama a tour of his grandfather's workshop as well as an introduction to the newest generation of lounge chair with drip dry padded fabric and built in back massager. Obama was presented with the newest model as a gift, though O'Furnicher advised not to plug in the lounge until the fabric "Was completely dry".

The President was then introduced to two gay and lesbian rights advocates sponsoring an Irish community event called "Under the Rainbow". Henry Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzhenry shared stories of in-roads made towards acceptance of gay and lesbian couples in the rest of Irish society. Though Obama was reportedly invited into a back room to see the pot of gold at the end of Henry's rainbow, he politely declined, mentioned that he only swings from the left side of the plate, and offered a donation to their cause.

Finally, no Ireland business tour could be complete without a stop at one of the countries fabled Irish whisky distilleries. Stopping at the McPherson distillery, Obama met with Colonel Angus McPherson, seventh generation owner of the business and a bit of a known cavorter and canoodler. Always speaking about himself in the third person, McPherson said, "Why, Colonel Angus is often giving and sweet. Colonel Angus has also been known to be bristly and rough. Sometimes, Colonel Angus just runs off at the mouth and doesn't know when to quit tongue wagging".

Obama was gracious throughout his distillery tour, though Colonel Angus seemed transfixed on Michelle Obama's caboose and couldn't stop talking about it. At one point the President shot Colonel Angus a disappointing look, to which Colonel Angus replied. "Oops. There I go again. Why, if I keep going on like that, just tap old Colonel Angus on the head one time and I'll know you've had enough."

Tina Fey, former Saturday Night Live head writer and star of the NBC show 30 Rock, also Obama's international tour dressed as Sarah Palin for in-flight comedy relief, commented to reporters, "Hey, I wrote that sketch".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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