Slow Cooked Foraged Food
Following the success of recently published series of Recipe and Vegipe books specially written for the slow cooker enthusiast, the latest edition turns it's metaphorical hand to a more 'natural', if not necessarily organic, collection of meals. Fungi in Buttercup Butter Originally meant to be Mushrooms in Garlic Butter, this recipe is much easier if any old type of mushroom or toadstool is...
Read full storyCurrys Are Us
High Street Electrical giant Currys have just announced that as from Monday, not only can you browse for all your electrical needs, you can also order your tea! Joint owners, Edwina and Tim Curry are delighted with the plan, and Tim explained how...
Read full storyKristen Stewart: Some Screams In Twilight Were Real Because They Were Mine!
Twilight actress Kristen Stewart responded to questions about some of the screams in the Twilight movies being real. This came after a reporter overheard Ashley Greene laughing in telling the story to a caterer. "Ashley and I supplied some of those screams that were accidentally recorded", she told us. "Maybe you should ask her. I mean, if she wants me to tell anyone about it." So we had to...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says That SHE is America's Favorite Female Star, Not Lady GaGa!
After discovering that Lady GaGa has been unofficially named as America's Favorite Female Star, Miley Cyrus has thrown a fit according to those present when she heard the news on Entertainment Tomorrow Night. "What? How do they even know Lady Gaaa...
Read full story"The Special One" escapes knife attack in Spain, was it Ronaldo's mother?
"The Special One" Jose Mourinho escaped a knife attack in La Coruna today. It seems the attacker was Ronaldo's mother aggrieved at the way Jose treats his son. Jose is constantly jibing Ronaldo about his sexuality, his diving, antics in front of o...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen wishes to adopt Justin Bieber and marry Susan Boyle
Charlie Sheen has most definitely 'lost it totally'. During his most recent t.v. interview he announced that he is planning to marry Susan Boyle and then adopt Justin Bieber, two Vietnamese orphans and a rescue dog. When told that Susan wasn't looking for a husband and that Justin HAS a family and because of his 'problems' the Vietnamese won't allow him to adopt any on their children, and the...
Read full storyGingrich Announces 2012 Candidacy on online dating site!
In breaking news yesterday, Newt Gingrich who is known for his quirky personality, announced on an online dating website that he would be starting his 2012 presidential bid. Many in the media and the political world were not surprised. According...
Read full storyCure for baldness
After thousands of years of quackery fruitloopery cures for baldness, scientists in Durham have finally cracked the causes, and found a cure for baldness that actually works. Historically cures have involved lotions rubbed on the head, from the sl...
Read full storyShriner Clown Wearing Too Many Bright Colors Killed by Hummingbirds
Grand Poobah Darrell Henderson of Little Rock, Arkansas was participating in a "Spring Is Coming" parade by driving his little clown car in a parade that included Miss Rutabaga of 2011 Wednesday when disaster hit. "I don't know why Henderson chose...
Read full storyKristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson to do New Version of "Bonnie & Clyde"!
Hang on Twilight lovers, the last Twilight may finally be played out but it's two co-stars, Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson, are said to be looking over the roles of Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, the 1930 bank robbers made famous in the earl...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Still Losing Weight But Suffering Horrible Side-Effects
Although she has now lost over 40 pounds, actress Kirstie Alley says that the new pills that are really taking off her weight has some serious side-effects, she is determined to stay on them until she gets down to an even 200. Also Alley refuses to come out of her house until she is down to 200, but she has given her friends permission to talk with us. "Sally has lost a lot of weight alright...
Read full storyFootball World Shocked By Carrick News
The football world was shocked and saddened by the news that Man United midfielder Michael Carrick had signed a new 3 year deal with the club. The new deal sees the former West Ham and Tottenham Hotspur midfielder tied to the current Premier Leagu...
Read full storyFarting Dentist Banned
Matthew Stilton, known as 'the farting dentist' because of his disturbing flatulence has been banned from his practice because of 'inappropriate behaviour'.. A colleague complained that he was giving patients 'the wrong sort of gas' and it made th...
Read full storyAlex Pettyfer: Taylor Lautner Did Not Steal Dianna Agron From Me
British actor Alex Pettyfer says that he is not concerned with actor Taylor Lautner stealing his girlfriend. This was after Lautner and Dianna Agron were seen at a restaurant together in Pittsburgh. Lautner was there several months ago to work on...
Read full storyOoops! IP version 6 may not be big enough!
Concern is growing in the scientific and computing communities that the addressing scheme for Internet Protocol version 6 may not big enough. IP addresses are the unique identifiers assigned to networked devices. They are used to reference each individual connection to the Internet. IP version 6 is due to replace the current system, IP version 4, due to the lack of available addresses. When...
Read full storyLondon's "Big Ben" Clock Suddenly Stops Ticking
LONDON - Several of the city's top jewelers are extremely puzzled as to why Big Ben has suddenly stopped ticking. Wainwright Ruskinbridger, one of London's best jewelers checked out the clock and said that he was not able to figure out why it stop...
Read full storyCoalition to appoint a new Minister for Chaff
The government announced today that a new cabinet post was to be created. They have decided that the creation and promotion of Chaff is a full time role. Chaff is the material that is ejected by military aircraft as a countermeasure when they are...
Read full storyPrince Philip caught trying on Kate Middleton's wedding dress
Greek xenophobe Phil "Duke of Edinburgh" Windsor has been caught trying on Kate Middleton's wedding dress by a maid at Windsor Castle. Tillie Mint entered the private chambers of the Queen and Prince yesterday to find Prince Philip parading around...
Read full storyRyan Giggs - Arise, Sir Giggsy
Popular Manchester United veteran Ryan Giggs could be in for a knighthood if an MP gets his way. Manchester Central MP, Tony Lloyd, tabled an early-day motion in the Commons asking for backing. According to Mr Lloyd, Giggs' little-known researc...
Read full storyFamous Poet Laureate Commits Suicide. Leaves Suicide Poem.
Ivana Poker, famous Southern poet from Macon, Georgia was found hanged in her apartment this morning -- an apparent suicide. Friends and relatives have stated that Ms. Poker, winner of the 1986 Nobel Prize in Literature,had been depressed and di...
Read full storyPrince Harry banned from Dubai over Colonel Gaddafi links
London - City of London moves freezing Libyan assets scored a massive injury-time goal today with the freezing of Harry's charitable bank accounts. Harry was to have captained a Windsor polo team against local Dubai despot Shaikh Mohammed McTomb-R...
Read full storyIt's Friday & Welcome to Today's News with Rush Limbo! #12
It's Friday & Welcome to Today's News with Rush Limbo! From behind the silver mike...had to sell the gold one, this is Friday when YOU choose the subject! Turdley is taking your calls and we'll hear from you after these news updates: According to the latest Wall Street Journal, the reign of the dollar is almost over. However, the treasury says that as the dollar shrinks, it will take le...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson: I'd Never Fight Lautner Over Kristen Stewart
Most ladies would not like to hear the sort of statement that Robert Pattinson made about his longtime girlfriend, Kristen Stewart, but Stewart says she can understand him saying that. "Rob tries to always be truthful. He was telling the truth and...
Read full storySurprise! Banksy Was At The Academy Awards After All!
The unknown artist known as Banksy may have put over another one on the public as well as the reporters when the word was passed that the attendee who was seated closely behind and to the right of Lady GaGa, may have been the artist. All day peopl...
Read full storySuBo fanatics start travel business!
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today launched their new travel service. The Wealthy International Tacky Travel Service (TWITTS) organises tours of Blackburn, SuBo's home town, for fanatics. "We weren't making enough money fro...
Read full storySimon Cowell Disapproves of Cher Lloyd's "Boo Boo" Tattoo
Silly Cher Lloyd has had two more tattoos much to sugar daddy Simon Cowell's disapproval. It makes you wonder whether rich Uncle Simon will drop her like the proverbial hot potato. The naive lass had her sixth and seventh tattoo of a bird with a ribbon escaping from a bird cage. It is a bizarre tribute to her uncle "Boo Boo" who accidentally died after taking contaminated drugs. It makes yo...
Read full storyBarnsley Promoted to Premier League
In a surprise move the Football Association have promoted Barnsley to the Premier League. Suggestions that this might have been a reward to the great town for ditching the LibDems in a Bye election and putting the Tories beneath UKIP, were hotly d...
Read full storyRadcliffe & Maconie Move Is Sock-Motivated
BBC chiefs have decided to move a popular Radio 2 show to 6 Music in a bid to improve the profile of socks on the otherwise cool station. Veteran northern jocks Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie currently broadcast on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednes...
Read full storyHuddersfield to be moved south
The Metropolitan Borough of Kirklees in West Yorkshire has voted 10 to 2 in favour of moving Huddersfield closer to London. The vote comes after a long public consultation that was largely supportive of the proposal, although some residents of the t...
Read full storyTake That - Gary Barlow Has The Formula
In an exclusive interview today Take That's Gary Barlow revealed what really goes on behind the scenes in Take That. Speaking as they release their Incredible new single 'Kidz' the singer explained, ' Our World Wide domination is down to me we al...
Read full storyWisconsin Governor Hires Dog the Bounty Hunter to Bring Back Democratic Senators
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has hired Dog the Bounty Hunter to go to Illinois and bring back the 14 Democratic senators who are refusing to return to Wisconsin to vote on a bill they say will do away with the bargaining rights of the state's teac...
Read full storyJon Cryer Moves in with Charlie Sheen
Newly divorced and jobless, Jon Cryer has rented a U-Haul and begun the process of moving in with Charlie Sheen and the goddesses. Asked if he wasn't happily married just last week when we interviewed him, Cryer replied, "Well, yeah, yeah I guess...
Read full storyBook Of The Dead - British Museum. Disappointing Playing Cards.
We are fascinated by the ancient Egyptians and their death cults. Why? Perhaps this exhibition at the British Museum could explain. Archaeologist Chasuble Mendip-Never writes: To Bloomsbury, the British Museum. Why, oh why? I detest and loathe these things. Rubbing along with the great unwashed, the hoi polloi, the mob... oh, the mob! Bonaparte had the right idea... And why do so many...
Read full storyMichael Nesmith Explains Why He Won't Be Accompanying The Monkees On Their Concert Tour of England
LOS ANGELES - The second oldest member of the Monkees has explained why he will not be accompanying his fellow band mates on their concert tour of England. Michael "Wool Hat" Nesmith, 68, said that he just flat out does not like the other three members of the Monkees band. He said that Mickey (Dolenz), 65; Davy (Jones), 65; and Peter (Tork), 69; never liked the fact that he was the only true mu...
Read full storyThe Lowdown On Socks And Jumpers
Following an investigation by the Office Of Fair Dealing, Reddon News Ink aka Skoob News has been forced - by law - to reveal the secret lowdown on socks and jumpers. Irrespective of who they belong to. "They're not mine and that's for sure," s...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Tells The Media He Is Sorry For Having Shot The 'Bird' At Them
LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber, who says that he may be 17, but he kinda feels like he's 27, after spending his birthday at a $6,000 a night hotel in Dana Point, apologized for an unfortunate incident. As Bieber and his date Selena "Smiley Face" Gome...
Read full storyThe Beatles Magical Mystery Strawberry Rain Museum In Liverpool Has Been Broken Into
LIVERPOOL - The curator of the Beatles Magical Mystery Strawberry Rain Museum Bickerton T. Featherstone has reported that overnight thieves broke into the museum and made off with some valuable Beatles memorabilia, artifacts, mementos, and relics.
Read full storyHawking Is Abused For Being A Scientist
Texas, the land without a future, doesn't want to exonerate Stefano Hawking, a devote follower of Albert Einstein who served 17 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit, after he had exploited his intelligence to help a failing humanity. Hawk...
Read full storyNew mothers swap booze and cigarette vouchers for cannabis
London - Pregnant women on DSS handouts have used NHS cigarette and alcohol vouchers for medicinal skunk. Last year half a million new and almost-mothers were given some £300 per annum in coupons to spend in local corner shops. Instead most of...
Read full storyHead of London Stock Exchange resigns over Gaddafi links
London - The Chief Executive of the LSE has resigned amid an official probe into the organization's links to Libya. Sir Fatcat Arsewobbler said he recognised he'd made an arse of himself over sucking up to the bandit dictator. The LSE immediate...
Read full storyCelebrities Distance Themselves From Gaddafi
Celebrities from the world of entertainment are rushing to distance themselves from the discredited regime of Colonel Gaddafi. Hot on the heels of Nellie Furtado returning £1 million received for performing for the Libyan leader, Beyonce and Maria...
Read full storyMan City's Toure Fails Drug Test
The Premiership was rocked to its very foundations by the news that Man City defender Kolo Toure has failed a drug test. The former Arsenal centre half , generally recognised as one of the best defenders in the country, is said to have gone into h...
Read full storyDesigner Galliano On Police Radar
An arrest warrant has been issued for British designer John Galliano for allegedly creating "stupid looking fashions", Interpol sources are reporting. The iconic fashionista, who was fired by Christian Dior earlier this week after he made anti-Sem...
Read full storyFergie Fury At Comments On Chelsea Loss
Sir Alex Ferguson has launched a furious attack on BBC's Match Of The Day pundit Mark "Lauro" Laurensen after the latter made derogatory comments about Chelsea Loss, grand daughter of Joe Loss, Britain's greatest ever bandleader. Chelsea has kept her...
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