David Cameron has landed himself in fresh controversy after being overheard talking about 'darkies' in the Brixton branch of vision express. Simultaneously, his wife Samantha fanned the flames by walking into Mothercare and asking for a 'Coon'.
However, as the downing street press machine explained, the alpha couple had simply been misheard. David had been looking for sun glasses and Samantha was after a cot for their new baby.
Additionally, George Osbourne who walked into McDonalds and asked for a 'Wog' had in fact been requesting a McFlurry.
Nevertheless, both have agreed to abandon their rich and sumptuous lives. David will move to Bradford and George to Slough, from where you can see the treasury on a clear day with a big mirror.